In 1938, Harvard University (USA) He launched research called “Adult Development Research”. Their main goal was to identify what makes us really happy. Research is always active and is one of the most complete in its field.
The research initially featured the collaboration of 700 young men, some of them people in a comfortable position, while others belonged to the poor class in Boston. Researchers followed these people throughout their lives to assess how they were finally trying to build their happiness.
- “The happiness of life is always having something to do.
- Someone to love and something to expect” – Thomas Chalmers-.
The survey currently includes more than 1,000 men and women, some of whom are first-generation volunteer children. The current director of research is psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who is also a Zen teacher.
Based on the findings of these 76 years of study, Professor Waldinger provided a brief description of what might be called a “good life. “Research has established what really makes people happy (or at least most), and here’s what some of these conclusions are.
One of the most important findings of adult development research is that people are really happy when they can build quality human relationships. “What we found is that people who are more satisfied in their relationships, more connected to others, their bodies and brains stay healthy longer,” Waldinger said.
On the question of what a good quality relationship is, the academic noted that it is a relationship in which the person feels safe and knows that it can be herself, that is, the person does not feel judged and is convinced that he or she depends on the other person for virtually all circumstances. This type of bond can occur with the partner, family, or friends and colleagues.
On several occasions, the survey applied questionnaires on the concept of happiness to participants, and even to people who were not part of the research, who asked them what would make them happy. Of those consulted, 80% said they would be happy if they had more money and 50% said fame would bring them happiness; however, after analyzing the results after improving their financial situation or achieving social success, it was concluded that the assumption had been made in advance was not reflected in the results after the improvement.
Everything leads us to believe that money and fame act in our minds like a smokescreen, it can be concluded that those who think so do not admit that what they seek is approval, respect and companionship, inadvertently assumes that money and fame will be vectors to forge more and better relationships with others.
This means that they unconsciously believe that if they had more money or fame, others would appreciate them even more, which is not true. Both fame and money attract new connections, but in many cases they are non-authentic connections, not based on real events. Consideration for the other. Many approach the rich and famous for the benefits they can get, but not because they have a real affection for these people.
Harvard research has found the answer to the question of how happy we can be, and that is a relatively simple and very precise answer, but this leads to a new question: why then are so many unfortunate?Wouldn’t it be enough for them to invest more time and effort in their relationships to live better?That’s the key to the problem.
Establishing quality relationships is not so simple, because for this we must have previously developed a set of values and virtues. To forge valuable bonds, we must be generous, kind, patient, and close in our relationships.
In life, it’s not about finding special people we can make wonderful connections to. It’s about being wonderful in our relationships, this is the basis of a quality bond.
The fundamental conclusion of 76 years of research at Harvard is very simple: we all seek, fundamentally, to be loved, it would mean to be happy. However, it is often not possible to build true romantic relationships because we have not yet developed this profound capacity to give love.