All emotions are necessary. Each of them gives us valuable information about ourselves, so it is so important to pay attention to how we feel, to see how emotional we are is a task that we cannot forget if we want to achieve emotional balance and, ultimately, to taste well. -being.
However, it is not always easy to pay attention to oneself to decipher what is happening to us, especially when we find ourselves in emotionally difficult and painful situations, where suffering is present and in which fear appears as a monster with the intention of catching us.
- In such situations.
- Doubts.
- Stress.
- Fear.
- Expectations and insecurity of not knowing what to do or how to act immobilize us.
- So we often find ourselves trapped in a spiral of discomfort and apathy.
- What to do when situations become unsustainable?How do you act when you feel destroyed and without alternatives?.
- How do we deal with these negative emotions that enslave us?.
Psychiatrist and professor of psychobiology Vicente Simón, after researching and deepening the wisdom of Buddhist psychology, has developed a procedure that can help us in these situations: the 7 stages of emotional balance. A set of exercises designed to alleviate suffering, avoid the psychological damage caused. by an emotional impact and preventing inappropriate actions that may lead to conflict with others.
In the face of bad news, a strong argument or a great disappointment, the first step is to stop. When we realize that an intense and unpleasant emotion arises in us, we must stop. Take a break and direct all our attention to the emotional movement that is unfolding within us.
At first it will not be easy, it is normal, stopping a process that has been working on automatics for years is not simple, because it is the opposite of what our approach proposes, in fact, most of the time emotions take us to Act abruptly and without thinking. Now, instead of continuing and reaching the emotional explosion, we need to stop, give ourselves time to reflect and evaluate what’s going on inside us.
In this way, we interrupt the automation in which we are immersed and create the ability to respond in a different way than usual, but it is important to practice, because we may not be able to do so at first. step, we can go somewhere else that gives us more peace of mind.
Once we have stopped, the next step in achieving emotional balance is to pay attention to our breathing and the parts of the body where emotion manifests itself.
If we are very energetic or stressed we must take a deep breath, deep breathing will help us calm down and connect with ourselves, the goal is to be able to breathe 10 times in a minute, of course we will not be able to do it at first, let alone if we are in a state of high activation, because at those times the breathing can reach up to 30 times per minute. The goal is to practice and focus on it.
On the other hand, when we experience difficult emotions, we may notice that the heart beats faster, a slight pressure on the chest or, perhaps, a tension in the belly, in any case the important thing is not to avoid experiencing these bodily. Emotions often also speak to us through our bodies. It’s about perceiving them and calming down by breathing to reduce body sensations.
This step involves becoming familiar with emotion at the vivencial and non-intellectual level, it means feeling it as a direct experience with all that comes with, for example, how it is expressed through the body.
So we can start observing or imagining the situation or situations that trigger this emotion, is it a certain person or, who knows, a thought?It’s about detecting the key aspects related to it and its origin.
Then you have to identify what emotion it is, that is, give it a name, is it anger, sadness, envy or perhaps fear?Some research says that when we do this, emotion loses some of its strength. more identity, we can wonder how this emotion would be expressed, what need it hides and what it pushes us to do.
This step is to accept emotion without judging, to let it be as it is, without suppressing it or offering resistance.
At first it will not be pleasant, because we develop an emotion that we do not like, but we must know and manage it later, so we become spectators of the rejection that arouses the situation, of these attempts to escape the situation and we defend ourselves, but we do nothing, we simply let the emotion manifest and express as it is, in this way we give you your space and recognize you as part of us.
In the midst of this profound process of managing what hurts us, that weighs on us and that is sometimes like it devours us, it is essential to connect with that part of us that is still whole and healthy, that works through affection. affection. Let’s think about it: personal abuse? attack this much-needed force to achieve that emotional balance.
It can be difficult for us to hug and treat each other fondly, so that we can turn to those people who are always by our side and who do not hesitate to accompany us whenever we need it, will help us alleviate the discomfort and anxiety that we feel.
The intensity of the emotion will gradually decrease and this will allow you to get rid of it, so we will no longer think that we are the emotion, but that we host it for a while.
It is important to note that we will only let emotion dissipate when we prevent it from taking over our internal dialogue, so we cannot directly force its disappearance, it will simply dissolve when it comes into contact with it. to think that we are not an emotion is a fundamental strategy to limit its power over us.
Once past the emotional storm, the last step in achieving emotional balance is to decide whether to act or not, whether the situation in which we are immersed requires an answer, now we will be in a better position to generate it, it will be much easier to act calmly and connect with our doubts and desires. On the other hand, if it is not necessary to give an immediate response, the most practical thing is to wait until the emotion has completely lost its intensity and that we have assimilated your message.
As we see, a difficult emotion can become serenity and calm through mindfulness and over time. The Dutch philosopher Spinoza put it very well: “An affection that is a passion ceases to be a passion as soon as a clear and distinct idea is made. of it. “
Being present in emotions is the key that opens the door to emotional balance. A practice that requires time and skills; However, if we can master it, it will help us to face the difficulties and problems of our daily lives, both with ourselves and with others.