The aggressor’s best accomplice will always be silence. This is where he finds his best refuge, where all the humiliating assaults and each of the punches are then hidden disguised in makeup and with an expression like “I promise you it’s the last time. “
The spirit of an aggressor is repeat offender and his promises become smoked in the face of a new “disrespect” when he is contradicted or when he needs to validate his power, for the aggressor suffers from chronic insecurity and seeks to find his strength. in the most sexist values.
- The abuser will always apologize to you.
- But he won’t hesitate to maintain the same abuse.
- The same harassment.
- The only way to escape this circle of power is to get your best accomplice out: silence.
Virginia Woolf, in her diary, said that few things can be as dangerous as a house, like a house, from the moment the doors, windows and curtains close, no one can guess what’s going on there: the dramas, the aggressions and the pain that permeates walls and hearts, on the pillows loaded with the tears of all those wounded spirits.
Silence is and will always be the best refuge for those who attack, for the vulnerable, we must break it and give voice to all the victims.
Does the world seem to be? It opens its eyes to these facts through all awareness campaigns, media and social media pressure, and more and more people report the attacks, silence no longer protects the aggressors or fears these allies, who often go unpunished.
Hidden violence, whether in a deserted place where a woman assaults or in a couple’s common home, is the most common in our society, so much so that, according to a United Nations survey, it is estimated that 35% of women worldwide have been abused and almost 70% have already been assaulted. These are data to think about.
The abuser can have a study and an excellent social position. You can be unemployed, you can be young, you can be old and, of course, you can be a woman too. Sociological norms generally do not help specialists identify them, and less, if considered a fundamental aspect: the aggressor is very well placed socially, in fact, for others, it is generally “good people”.
The problem arises when, as Virginia Wolf pointed out, the doors of a house are closed and almost nobody knows what happens there, because whoever uses violence expresses it only with those who have a very intimate emotional connection: the partner, the children?
The aggressor uses aggression as a form of power. He is unable to conceive of his partner as a person with rights or needs that deserve to be respected for being a “clean object”, a part of himself, so in the face of any attempt at independence, it is they who are attacked because their masculinity and their status of power are vulnerable.
The other then chooses to give in, shut up and fall into that subordination relationship where psychological and sometimes even physical violence creates marks and wounds that are not always seen with the naked eye. this silence is not easy, because believe it or not, the victim does not always feel understood.
They are probably very delicate situations where the fear of breaking the silence remains the best accomplice of the aggressor, your best refuge and your shield of power. It is everyone’s responsibility to change their consciences and remove victims from these private spaces of torture and humiliation.
Because no victim needs to feel alone, because we all have a space in the puzzle of our society to denounce, give voice and be receptive to any suspicious behavior in which a woman, a man or a child may suffer some form of mistreatment.
Let’s be brave, let’s break the silence.