The art of adulthood requires courage, commitment and responsibility to ourselves and others. Becoming a healthy adult is not an easy task, especially given how the society in which we grew up is organized.
On the other hand, depending on how we live our childhood and relationships with our parents, we will need more or less effort to move in the direction of our physical and emotional maturity, physiological age and social age do not always coincide, so why this lack of syncopia?Why is it often so hard to mature?
- Why do some people find it so hard to mature?We have many reasons to remain in eternal youth (known as “Peter Pan syndrome”).
- First.
- Society demands that we always be perfect.
- Beautiful and with a young mind.
Secondly, sometimes the emotional wounds of our childhood lead us to drag the outstanding problems to solve, and to consider ourselves children with wounds that prevent us from becoming adults: we basically continue to claim a part of our childhood or try to achieve it. Deep, these problems, when they are not solved, manifest themselves in our present. Think that in childhood it is easier to evade responsibility and feel in a familiar and comfortable area, rather than exploring unknown areas.
There are several characteristics presented by an adult that resists growth, the main ones are:
Imagine a child with his parents separating, in this situation it is easy for the child to behave to avoid the rupture of the family nucleus and, if he cannot, assumes some of the responsibility for the separation. In the face of failure, it becomes a fault, a burden that does not belong to you and that can eventually slow down your development.
The injured child lives in an adult body and is frozen in time, you don’t think your age matters, whether 25, 38 or 60, the fault is usually very active in children (adult dresses), who have little emotional maturity.
The child feels a senseless guilt, which makes him think that he is responsible for everything that happens around him. This burden the child feels is not real, even if he sees it as something real. If, when we are adults, we cannot control our fault, we will have major problems in fulfilling our day-to-day responsibilities.
To achieve emotional maturity we will have to face the feeling of guilt instead of avoiding it, managing guilt is the most important thing so that we can continue to grow in relation to the emotions that we have, both with us and with others.
To start digesting this guilt you have to: live the pain of the child, not to avoid pain but to go through it and feel it fully and consciously, when we can give up our history and our backpack, guilt becomes a healthy responsibility that pushes us towards maturity.
“Trust comes with maturation, acceptance of oneself more. -Nicole Scherzinger-
The art of becoming healthy adults is not only important to get involved in different roles in life (professional, couple, children, etc. ), but goes much further. It is important to acquire an identity of our own, different from that of our parents, to set aside their expectations and start doing things for ourselves.
If we value ourselves and accept ourselves as we are, the experience of life will naturally lead us to maturity. What gives us wings to be adults is the freedom to live our present with awareness and acceptance of circumstances.
Therefore, some secrets to becoming a self-sufficient adult are: stop behaving like the victim, avoid constant complaints and leave the past behind, just by being brave and taking a step into the unknown, we can begin to govern our own lives.