Being good to yourself is priceless. Such psychological art requires two achievements: reconciling with the past to extinguish certain disappointments and stop obsessing over the future to calm anxieties. Feeling good is first and foremostic learning to think properly, focusing on a gift for shaping an inner peace that one should not disturb.
Certainly, we all agree with those statements. However, why do we find it difficult to find that inner balance with which we feel full, we can enjoy what we have and what characterizes us ?, whether we like it or not, there is always something that fails, something that yells at us and prevents us from living a lasting well-being, that does not cease and stands firm, anyway.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying not to be the greatest success. “Ralph Waldo Emerson.
The world of psychology has always concentrated its efforts on facilitating this same goal, however, and it must be said, its beginnings were somewhat complex, for a long time its theories and strategies sought to understand almost exclusively the most pathological universe. It was until the late 1970s, when personalities such as Martin Seligman and Aaron T. Beck provoked revolutionary change.
Martin Seligman, known for his studies on depression and acquired impotence, considered it necessary to concentrate the field of psychology in a new direction: happiness, and Aaron T. Beck, for his part, pioneer of cognitive therapy, also taught us something fundamental: To be fair to oneself, is it necessary to have any positive filter when looking out?and also inwards.
Epithet says in his? Manual for life ?, that people often insist that life corresponds to their desires, is an almost childish effort, and able to generate great frustration, so he, who was the most representative stoic of his time, recommended us to simply learn to desire things as they are.
The art of being good to oneself is therefore the practice of acceptance. Acceptance does not mean passivity or renunciation. The trick, in fact, is easier than it looks and forces us to invest our efforts in a number of achievements:
To be right about oneself means to know how to practice a kind of acceptance where we have active control over our thoughts, perhaps what surrounds us, and even the people who are part of our nearest context, does not always act as we wish. This should make us angry, because if there is inner calm, if there is self-esteem and balance, there will be no cloud that can turn off the sun in us.
Personal appreciation is as useful as it is unknown. It is possible for a person to discover it over time, only when they realize that they neglected a long time ago and has begun to feel almost like a pawn on a chessboard, initially of little value and that no one remembers. be the ‘queen’, but for that we have to remember what we are worth and the role we play in the game of life.
All this we can achieve through intelligent personal appreciation, that is, feeling part of everything we do and being satisfied with every act we do, in this way, and before we talk about having more control over our thoughts, now is the time to learn to value ourselves through our daily dynamics.
Let’s look at some examples
In addition, we cannot overlook something important: being good with who you are and what you have is mainly related to comfort, because the feeling of freedom and agility that we enjoy in some people, even in parts of ourselves, arises from the lack of weight on our backs.
Nothing is as satisfying as that feeling; Knowing that there are no past weights or chains that others have put at our feet to hinder our movements and our growth opportunities, let us not neglect this art of being well with oneself, a practice that requires a lot of will and determination on our part.