Self-buttoning includes all the actions we take to numb or nullify our goals. These frustrated goals are precisely what will enable us to achieve important achievements in our lives and succeed. The most common forms of self-buttoning involve behaviors such as indecision, deferral, addictions of any kind, little sleep, or overeating.
On the other hand, people also sabotage the same when they deny their feelings, compare to others to feel inferior, or establish relationships that downgrade them emotionally, in many cases this behavior has been born of the disrecognisement of what we want and what we want. Need.
“If you think you can or can’t do something, you’re always right. – Henry Ford-
There are people who follow demanding diets to lose weight and enjoy good health, and even add a series of physical exercises to their routine, however, at the end of the day, they self-sabotage themselves by eating junk food and often in excess, with any excuse The end result is that they waste all the effort made during the trip.
In other cases, we are consciously preparing for professional promotion, because we are seriously considering improving our own quality of life or because we are looking at larger challenges, but when it comes to satisfying the desire we have worked for. so hard, self-botage appears.
A state of indecision and anguish robs us and causes us to abandon the original idea and continue as before: the doubt of whether we are prepared or not, whether we can or not, ends up leaving us in the same place where we were originally.
When we strive to achieve a goal and sabotage our own progress, our self-esteem is seriously compromised, basically what is imposed is a fear that has an unconscious origin, this is certainly the result of a negative childhood experience, which we have not had. but it has been able to clarify and, less so, resolve.
Many of these driving patterns arise during childhood and are likely associated with the type of relationship we establish with our parent of the opposite sex, i. e. the girl with her father or the child with her mother. We have become the center of attention, for our father of the opposite sex, while our other father has been displaced.
From this fantasy, supposedly real, two real consequences arise, the first is that we cannot be the partner of our parents, although there is a strong unconscious desire for it, and the second is that an unbearable state of guilt is created, because we have moved to our same-sex parent on the emotional plane, either on one side or the other , if we participate in this dynamic from an early age, we carry a weight that does not exist, but that will actually have effects acting as a powerful weight.
The first thing is to understand that we’re sabotaging ourselves. It’s not as easy as it sounds, because you have to remember that it’s unconscious behavior. Failure leads first to guilt and frustration. We tend to be relentless with the assessments hacemos. de ourselves and our results, so it would be nice to be flexible and try to identify more accurately what leads us to failure.
We still need to clearly identify the problem. Being convinced that we are really good at something and that we deserve it would greatly improve our lives. Even if we are afraid of failure, it seems that all our efforts are aimed at producing exactly what we don’t want.
It should be added, although it seems paradoxical, that people do not succeed until they have failed, so the initial realization generates feelings of satisfaction and momentary pleasure, however, they quickly become states of anguish and, in some chaos, even summarize. This situation disappears when they manage to destroy the conquests they have achieved so hard.
It is important to recognize what we want in our lives, so it is good to set specific goals, there is nothing wrong with allowing us to dream of greatness and overcome our own fears, knowing that nothing will protect us from disappointment. Each challenge is a new experience and calculated risk that you have to take to gain confidence to achieve our goals.
It is essential to ruminate fewer ideas and act more, so the importance of an inner and thoughtful dialogue that takes us away from catastrophic thoughts, the idea is to get rid of all those lastres that stop us to achieve our goals, so that all our dreams come true.
Finally, let’s do sincerity exercises with ourselves, we are very adept at deceiving and blaming others, or making excuses when we can’t achieve what we’ve decided to do, so it’s good to take the reins, take our lives, and take responsibility for each of our decisions.
Images courtesy of Three Sisters.