Being the best has become, in this society in which we live, one of the most important goals of almost all, since children begin to evaluate with digital notes our performance in different fields, without wondering if we like what we do or not.
Who can score ten or nine on almost everything becomes him?Best? And that leads him to win, and rightly so, the acceptance and applause of those around him.
- It’s normal for that approval of others to make you feel great about yourself.
- Who doesn’t like their merits being recognized and valued for what they’ve accomplished?.
On the contrary, whoever does not do well in what everyone should be good or very good at will end up attracting the contempt of their classmates, teachers and even their own parents. Parents who repress or punish their children: having not been the best, you can never become a “profitable man. “
When we manage to be the best we tend to be overwhelmed by a feeling of fullness, being number one makes us earn our self-esteem, because as we mentioned above, being at the highest level provokes the admiration of others, as well as other positive aspects. external consequences that we greatly appreciate. Sometimes, even, in an exaggerated way.
When we mention these positive external consequences, do we mean fame, success, money?Things that our society gives immeasurable value to and will have to fight for voraciously, no matter what.
Everyone wants to be the best at what they do, because if not, what does it mean?We often wonder.
In this sense, the trap of self-esteem arises, when we talk about self-esteem we mean self-esteem, that is, the love we have for our own person, our being, we often associate this love with ourselves with certain external characteristics, so that we generate a dependent self-esteem.
Do we love each other and admire each other if we are beautiful, tall, thin, cultured, with work, with a romantic relationship?Or we’re the best at everything we do, that’s why we hate, censor and hurt ourselves if we don’t. we have everything we just listed.
So there’s no point in wanting to earn my self-esteem by making the typical therapeutic list of my virtues and accomplishments?Because it doesn’t have to make you love anymore.
To be the best, the most hardworking, the most beautiful, the kindest, number one in the class, etc. , is just smoking, has no value in itself and serves much less than we think. that have made us believe that being the best is the best that exists and, unfortunately, almost all of us believe it.
You don’t get more self-esteem being better than someone, and you’re not happier about it, if so, wouldn’t we know so many cases of people succeeding, with their fame, with money, attractive?confessed to being very unhappy and whose life ended in a hasty end of tragedy.
How many famous athletes ended up in the drug world because they couldn’t handle the lawsuits?Who did they feel sumissive to?How many actors, singers or artists didn’t end their lives or end up being victims of their own abuse?
Wanting to be the best, as we have seen, only serves to manage a good dose of anxiety towards oneself. The culture of effort, of making a living from sweat and tears, has created a multitude of unhappy people. Achieve that supposed goal that they have created and would not need to achieve, since we do not have to, and that will not add to our happiness portfolio.
In addition to anxiety, wanting to be the best can also plunge us into the deepest depression, if we don’t manage to become everything we aspire to.
In the end, all we can achieve is that our happiness and self-esteem are based on the outside and do not come from our own interior, so if we want to stop participating in this irrational idea, we can begin to practice unconditional acceptance. Acceptance and self-esteem may be similar, but they are different concepts.
Healthy acceptance does not depend on being better or worse, more beautiful or ugly, smarter or less; acceptance is about loving yourself, taking care of yourself, pampering you, no matter what you are or have achieved. have been valuable people since we were born.
Nothing outside can give more or less value to a human being, because people are not measured quantitatively, we do not have a rule to measure the value of someone, then all the opinions we make of ourselves and others are the fruit of culture : a social thing, but it is not real.
I invite you to think: imagine being the worst at anything?In your work, in your class, what less do you earn in your group of friends?And yet feel very happy, very satisfied with yourself. It’s possible, isn’t it? Because if with your imagination you are able to get in this place, you can start going there, I anticipate that it will be a path of beautiful discoveries!