I’m sure you’ve read and heard a lot of people say that self-love is a fundamental pillar for undertaking or undertaking any project, and it’s true. This concept is a kind of magic key that opens all the doors, this helps you avoid or overcome depression, addictions, marital problems, family, labor conflicts and many others.
Self-esteem is the king in the infinite garden of human emotions, of which there is no doubt. The worst part is that if you’re one of the people who’s had very difficult experiences, such as childhood heartbreak, abuse, bullying, and similar situations, you’ll never understand how to make self-esteem stop being just a beautiful expression. .
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. “- Mark Twain-
What a way of speaking, you have a strong self-love if you have come into the world as a result of the desire to exist, but you must also have had an emotionally healthy mother, united out of love for a mentally healthy father. , of course, should keep anyone stable, at least during childhood. Is that your case?
Many certainly said no. Those who do not understand very well why they were designed, that their parents could be anything but emotionally healthy people, that their childhood lived it full of happy moments, but also of needs, abuses and sometimes enormous traumas. esteem seems to them little more than a utopia: beautiful, but inaccessible.
It is an unpleasant phrase because however it gives us back the responsibility that we once placed elsewhere, elsewhere, it is very tempting to blame others for what is happening to us and the list of possible culprits begins with our parents. , if that were the case, or if they had stopped?We would have been so different if they had been wonderful! But have you ever wondered what his own story was like?How were your grandparents with them?
It is customary that parents with low self-esteem do not transmit it to their children, they wanted to do the opposite, but they could not give what they did not have, probably the same thing happened to their parents, the chain lasts forever. until someone, in a generation, decides to end the series, ending the injury. The most advisable thing is to do it through therapy, but there are also other ways to contribute to it.
Whatever path is chosen, it is valid, as long as it leads to the repair of a destroyed self-esteem, however, the best way to start this task is to stop blaming others, it takes courage and greatness to do so. some discomfort. However, it is also a way to break the strongest link in the chain, which does not allow us to move on.
Perhaps he imagined that if he won an important prize, such as a Nobel Prize, his self-esteem would have the nutrients he needs to be strong, or if someone discovers that he is a misunderstood genius, or if he is loved, then no test was needed OR if everyone expressed his gratitude and the world stopped when he struggled.
Fantasies that include great self-outs are common among those who have low self-esteem, in a way they don’t want anything less, and sometimes they think that the most discreet achievements are worthless, what they forget is that every great achievement is the result. of enormous efforts, made of small achievements, it is these small advances that give enough strength to continue.
The great works of the human being are essentially made of perseverance, in turn, perseverance is a characteristic that occurs only in a heart with self-esteem, large-scale efforts require enormous willpower. And when there is low self-esteem, the first victim is willpower. Watch? Everything becomes a vicious cycle.
Hence the importance of learning to value small achievements. Don’t neglect what you do right every day, don’t waste your efforts, big or small, sometimes just continuing your day takes away a lot, if you can finish it, make sure you recognize it. who tries to blame you and criticize you for everything. You’re the first person to have an obligation to value who you are and what you do. Think.
Images courtesy of Aykut Aydo? From.