The bitterness of unpaid tears

Sometimes we are invaded by a deep bitterness of unpaid tears, a ball forms in our throat and our mind gets stuck in a dead end, sadness passes to the foreground, helplessness for what happened imprisons us, there is nothing we can do, no matter how much we try. Even tears don’t have the courage to look through your eyes, fall on your cheeks and help us escape. Why can’t we cry?

Many people, after suffering a negative impact situation, are unable to release their pain. They were so moved by what happened that they were somehow trapped, trapped in pain that it robs them of any possibility of expressing what they feel.

  • It’s bitter.
  • They want to cry and they can’t.
  • They would even like to put into words the feeling that invades them.
  • But they are incapable.
  • The problem is that the discomfort is getting bigger.
  • As if.
  • Little by little.
  • Unpaid tears drowned them inside.

“I almost died from all the tears I didn’t shed. “The knight in the rusty armor, Robert Fisher?

The inability to cry can be associated with several causes: from illness to emotional blockages, so first of all it is important to exclude any physiological causes.

For example, Sjogren’s syndrome is an autoimmune disease that is distinguished by the destruction of glands that produce tears and saliva, although it can also damage other parts of the body, so it’s important to see your doctor, rather than assuming that what happened is due to psychological problems, such as depression.

Once the physiological causes are excluded, it is time to research the psychological universe of the person to know what is going on, in this case it is important to take into account that not everyone treats problems in the same way, everyone has their own way of seeing reality, their reaction times and their own history of strategies.

Therefore, there will always be someone who is able to easily release their emotions, and others who need more time to process what happened and who, for some reason, are blocked by the strong impact.

Thus, when the problem has a psychological origin, it is usually related to an emotional mis management, which can be somewhat punctual, but can also lead to depression and other factors, if the inability to cry is felt during a grieving process and time is prolonged, this may indicate the presence of pathological bereavement.

However, it is important to consider what it means to cry for the person, since some people think it is a negative thing or a sign of weakness, because of the education they have received, so many people tend to suppress crying out of fear. from being seen as fragile or vulnerable, to becoming automatisms. Or they may be afraid to come into contact with themselves. The problem is that it damages health and sometimes facilitates the accumulation of anger, aggression and somatization.

“The tears shed are bitter, but the bitterest are the ones we don’t shed. “Irish Proverb?

William Frey, a doctor at St. Paul Ramsay Medical Center, says tears are as necessary as smiles, although it’s true that they don’t have the power to solve our problems, they reduce tension, alleviate sadness, facilitate self-know and connection. with others.

Tears are part of us, they are a mechanism of defense and relief, that is, a way to release the accumulated tensions, whatever the situation, so it is important to allow yourself to express them, Lauren Bylsman, researcher at the University of Pittsburgh, says that crying helps the body regain its homeostasis, which means regaining balance after being disturbed.

When we cry we release adrenaline and norepinephrine, hormones that are over-secreted in stressful situations and can be dangerous, which produces a sense of tranquility and relief in the body, as it promotes relaxation.

According to a study by the biochemist William H. Frey, tears shed by a negative or dramatic situation release endorphins, prolactin, potassium chloride and magnesium, as well as adrenocotropin and leucine-encephalin, the so that our discomfort, both physical and emotional, is relieved. because of the sensation that this emotional explosion produces.

Suppressing crying or not being able to cry involves a cluster of discomfort, it is like floating in an ocean of suffering, without lifeguards or earth in sight, however, some strategies can help us release the accumulated tension and finally begin to shed our first tears. :

As we have seen, crying is a liberating and healthy act. It is able to transform the tension felt into an expression of our inner world. This helps us release the internal pressure in which we are sometimes trapped; that is, it facilitates emotional discharge and relaxes, in this way we will start to feel safer and we will be able to observe what happened from a different perspective.

In addition, tears also communicate; in fact, they are seen as a call to empathy and support for others. They occur when words cannot describe what the soul overflows, when we are unable to describe how we feel about its intensity.

Crying is not a sign of weakness, but of courage; a way to communicate the depth of our feelings. As the American writer Washington Irving said: “There is something sacred about tears. They are not a sign of weakness, but of power, are they the messengers of immense sadness and indescribable love?

“Tears are the blood of the soul”. ? St. Augustine?

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