The kids aren’t on the street. In fact, this loss begins at home with the absent father, with the mother always busy, with a cluster of unmet needs and insurmountable frustrations. A teenager self-destructs after a childhood of detachment and a love he has never been able to educate, guide. Help.
We will begin by clarifying that there will always be exceptions, there are, of course, young people with inappropriate behaviors who have grown up in homes of harmony and responsible teenagers who have managed to distance the therself from a dysfunctional family, there are always one-off events. escaping this more classic dynamic where what happens daily in a house irrevocably marks the child’s behavior abroad.
- In fact.
- And curiously.
- A parent does not always end up accepting this kind of responsibility.
- In fact.
- When a child exhibits aggressive behavior at school and the principal contacts the parents.
- It is customary for the family to blame the system.
- The institute.
- Itself and the school community for “not knowing how to educate”.
- Not thinking about needs and not implementing the right strategies.
It is true that when it comes to a child’s education, we are all active agents (school, media, social organizations?), but it is the family that will make the concept of respect, the root of self-esteem or flame. empathy.
We suggest you think about it
HGWells once said that the education of the future goes hand in hand with disaster itself. In his famous book “The Time Machine,” he saw that in 802,701 humanity would be divided into two types of society. , who would live on the surface, would be the Eli, a population without writing, without empathy, without intelligence or physical strength.
According to Wells, the educational style that prevailed at the time already worked in that direction, the start of standardized examinations, competitiveness, the financial crisis, the short time of parents to educate their children and the non-concern to foster children’s curiosity or the inherent desire to learn made, in the middle of the 20th century , the famous writer would not foreshadow anything good for future generations.
It is not a question of fostering so much pessimism, but of putting on the table a state of vigilance and responsibility, for example, what many therapists, school counselors and educators complain about is the lack of family support that they often experience in this situation. problematic teen or child with emotional or learning problems.
When there is no real collaboration or even when a parent removes authority or boycotts the professional, teacher or psychologist, what they will realize is that the child, their child, remains lost. In addition, this teenager will have more strength to continue defying and will search the street for what he cannot find at home, or what the education system itself has not been able to give him.
There are difficult and demanding children who like to act like real tyrants, there are teenagers who cannot take responsibility and who like to go beyond the limits that others impose on them thus approaching crime, we all know more than one case of this kind, however, we must be aware of something: none of this is new , none of this is the fault of the Internet, video games or a permissive education system.
In the end, these children show the same needs and behaviors as always, contextualized in the new times, so the first thing to do is not to pathologize childhood or adolescence, the second thing is to assume the part of responsibility that corresponds to each of us. , as well as educators, health professionals, publicists or social workers. The third, but not least, is to understand that children are undoubtedly the future of the Earth, but above all, they are the children of their parents.
Then we’ll think about some important aspects
When a teacher calls a mother or father to warn them of a child’s bad behavior, the first thing the family feels is that it challenges their love for their children. It’s not true. What happens is that sometimes this affection, this sincere love, is misguided.
We must also be aware that at a time when many mothers and fathers are forced to work hours that are not at all compatible with family life, what matters is not the real time we share with children, but quality in this time.
Parents who know how to intuit needs and emotions, who are there to guide, guide and promote interests, dreams and expectations, are the ones who leave marks and also roots in their children, thus preventing these children from looking for all this on the street.
Images courtesy of A. Varela.