We often say that what matters in a family is not that people live together, but that they are together. However, this is not always possible. We are a very complex kaleidoscope with different interests and feelings that normally do not fit as much as we would like.
There are also those who think that by sharing a genetic bond, there is a moral obligation to unite with those who, at some point, have hurt us, abandoned us or with whom we simply do not adapt.
- Blood makes us parents.
- In this sense there is no doubt.
- But it is loyalty that creates an authentic family.
- Which includes not only our most important parents.
- But also our friends.
We all know that the family symbolizes an almost foolproof pillar that offers us roots, security and the unconditional love that surrounds, that knows how to be warm and that accompanies every step we take.
Now each of us has its own reality and experiences. And for many, the word? It can be a kind of empty label with which you cannot create representative bindings.
Therefore, it is always better to understand the term family more broadly, if in the past you have not had support, you have every right to raise your family in the present, including all those who give you the love, affection and reciprocity that we all have. Need.
Let’s talk about it now
No one comes into the world knowing how to start a family, in fact theoretical knowledge is not necessary, but will, affection, emotional intelligence and a vital commitment to those we love.
To be a family is to engage with the people you love, to encourage the personal development of each of its members and to help each one to be oneself, respecting their differences.
Being a family is not rigid. Families are constantly evolving and transforming entities, which sometimes also poses a threat to many of their members who do not accept “such changes. “
Few organizations are as dynamic and changing, and in some contexts there are as many problems, traumas and disappointments as in families.
It is in this first social scenario that we develop dimensions as fundamental as childcare, where we feel safe and recognized to start exploring the world, it is also here that we develop the relationship of intimacy and reciprocity, which if they do not exist, can cause serious emotional gaps.
The purpose of a family is not only to ensure the survival of its members, it is to nurture emotions, it is to feed dreams, to treat fears, to put hope and to offer trust without blackmail or further motives.
If this doesn’t happen, or if you intend otherwise, you have the right to start your own family with which you choose.
Family is also the people I choose, I can include my mother but not my father, my brothers and that distant cousin that I hardly see but appreciate very much, I consider family as my friends, my pet and everything that contributes to positive emotions and a meaningful relationship.
Prejudice or moral dilemmas should not be made because they do not regard the family as those who have hurt it, those who were absent or did not want to play their role. Avoid hating or keeping grudges, just move forward and create your own meaningful bonds. .
? It is the real family that respects you as you are, with its genius, its voice, its personal choices and its way of understanding the world.
? Your true family is the one that does not give you anything in return, because reciprocity is not a power game, but a balance where there is recognition and loyalty.
? My family doesn’t need to be with me at all times, but I carry it every day in my heart because we are connected, because we trust each other, because we are united in proximity and distance.
Because we are together in the bad times, and we appreciate our complicity in the good times, my family is the one I choose.
Images courtesy of Holly Sierra.