The death of a loved one is an important source of emotional suffering, we are never entirely prepared to lose someone we love, even in cases where death is not a surprise, however, there are cases where pain is harder to treat. situations that involve unbearable pain.
By disapproved pain we mean pain that cannot be manifested openly, since it is, in some way, forbidden by the specific context or by society in general, in such cases people must suffer alone and, in many cases, even hide their manifestations. pain.
- This difficulty in expressing emotions and recognizing suffering makes it difficult to overcome and resolve unscrupulous pain.
- The difficulty of receiving support adds a dose of complexity to these processes.
- Forbidden.
It is one of the types of unrecognized pain that causes the most harm to the victim, it corresponds to cases where a person’s death has no social value, when it is not morally significant to others.
An example of this is when those who die are socially rejected, it is the case of a dangerous or feared criminal. He’s supposed to be an undesirable person and his death benefits others. Your family or friends may think differently. However, others do not always understand this and, therefore, those who suffer often do not show their suffering.
Another example of this type of disapproved pain is that which occurs when an animal dies, many consider it an exaggeration to suffer deeply the death of a dog, cat or horse, however, countless people suffer this loss as if it were that of a dog. a close relative.
In this case, unconditional pain occurs because this type of relationship is considered illegal, immoral or intolerable, the typical example of this type of pain is the death of a lover, it is based on the idea that the legitimate pain is that of the wife or husband, not that third person who was in the middle. Still, that third party suffers and is entitled to his pain.
Although society today is more open-minded, there are still cases of unrecognized homosexual relationships, these cases also create unauthorized pain when the bond is kept secret, the same is true when there are impossible loves, when someone deeply loves the one who dies, without having been reciprocal.
If death occurs as a result of suicide, for example, pain is generated under special conditions, chances are that, at least at first, your loved ones have a hard time expressing their pain, is one of those situations in which the search for Answers hangs from the environment: “Why did it all end like this?”, Why didn’t you find another way?Unfortunately, we often don’t know how to answer these questions.
Something similar happens when death occurs in violent conditions, especially if they involve the family or are the result of an act of irresponsibility. If, for example, someone driving a high-speed car dies, many will think they “deserved it. “Thus, conditions are created that provide uninsed pain, the same goes for overdose deaths, venereal diseases, etc.
This type of disapproved pain corresponds to cases in which the ability to feel of the sufferer is not recognized, which occurs frequently in children. We think that they do not understand what death is and, therefore, that they console themselves with a simple “He went to live in heaven. ” Many people think that young children do not suffer from a process of pain when it is sometimes much more difficult than for adults, precisely because of their immaturity.
Something similar happens to people who have a certain type of cognitive decline, we assume that their pain is not the same depth as that of others, so do the elderly who suffer certain neurological limitations.
When there is unapproved pain, there is also a greater chance that it will eventually turn into pathological pain, if the expression of suffering is limited or undone, overcoming pain will be much more difficult.