Overcoming grief takes time and a lot of personal effort.
The biography of each of us is filled with a succession of losses and separations, which remind us of the temporality of any bond or relationship and of any reality, consciously or unconsciously.
- Pain is the psychological reaction to loss; emotional pain of losing something or someone important in our lives.
- This psychological reaction not only has emotional components.
- But also physiological and social components.
When we talk about mourning on a daily basis, most of the time we associate it with death, but this process is also seen in the face of the breakdown of a relationship, the loss of a job or the loss of a relational object with which we had a strong connection, therefore, the grieving process means that by loss we have to adapt to a new life without that person or that thing , and its development involves reconstructing meanings.
Grief is usually resolved naturally when we understand that it is a normal process limited in time, advancing its evolution towards overcoming, which can strengthen our maturity and personal growth, but how is it recognized that it is?Natural? Involving great suffering for most people, it is also known that this process can be complicated with others, even causing disorders if symptoms persist over time and affect the development of daily life, and some people stagger, without being able to break off. or say goodbye to what they’ve lost.
It is difficult to say when the duel has really ended, even if it is considered a key moment when the person is able to look back, that is, his past and remember with a serene and calm affection, with envy but without pain. , the person who left and his common story.
Usually, the development of this whole process takes from one to two years, depending on each person, the proximity and quality of the link that existed.
The development of grief goes through different stages, in which very painful emotions may predominate, which are not understood as fixed and organized periods, on the contrary they tend to overlap, containing a mixture of emotions and responses.
Worden describes the tasks that the person will have to perform during the duel, as a therapeutic background of the whole process:
1) Accept reality 2) Living pain 3) Adapting to a world in which the missing person is absent 4) Emotionally reposition the deceased and look to the future.
? Accepting and understanding that grief is a natural process that takes time, without pretending to rush it, being able to face loss and live it adaptively generates greater confidence, developing new aspects and mechanisms.
? Don’t resist change. There is a transformation in the face of the loss of people and central roles in our lives, it is better to embrace these changes, to take advantage of opportunities for growth, recognizing the aspects in which we feel impoverished.
? Express our emotions and feelings, communicate them, not suppress them and, if necessary, go to a professional.
? Being surrounded by life, activating our social relationships, learning something new or doing physical activity, for example, depending on our age and state of health.
? Find new meanings for life, create and develop projects
The pain, suffering and disorders that accompany grief are not “abnormal,” but there are some symptoms that indicate that a professional should be consulted, even if the final decision depends on everyone.
Second, Robert A. Neimeyer, you should seriously consider talking to someone about your pain if you experience any of the following symptoms:
? Intense feelings of guilt. ? Suicidal thoughts. ?Despair is exacerbated. Prolonged agitation or depression. Physical symptoms (significant weight loss, feeling like having a knife stuck in your chest, etc. )?Uncontrolled anger. Continuous operational difficulties. Substance abuse
While one of these symptoms may be characteristic of a normal bereavement process, continuity over a long period of time should be a cause for concern and attention to consult a professional.
Building grief means getting in touch with the void left by the loss of what no longer exists, valuing its importance and enduring the suffering and frustration that its absence entails (Jorge Bucay).
Image courtesy of Emerald Wake