Many people face the challenge of not knowing how to end a relationship, as a rule it is usually a difficult time for both the person who decides to finish it and for the one that is left, it seems that we do not get along very well with the act of saying goodbye.
On the other hand, there is a popular belief that the situation is easy for the person who wants to leave the relationship, however, it is not as simple as it seems, at the same time that abandonment is also not legal. Adding, not knowing how to leave, with “not wanting to be left,” we enter a cycle that can end up wreaking havoc, because not knowing how ending a relationship can harm our psychological health.
- When we are immersed in a relationship we no longer love.
- We may feel stress.
- Anxiety.
- Sadness.
- Discouragement.
- Etc.
- Besides.
- We don’t always find ourselves in front of a bed of roses.
- Sometimes when you’re finally ready.
- Finally.
- The other comes on the scene: “Don’t leave me.
- ” and the situation can get more complicated.
For some, ending a relationship has no turning back; when something ends, it means the end. For others, it’s a real test.
Many people say they have trouble leaving their partners, they are no longer happy, they do not feel any connection, however, they cannot end the relationship.
Many times, what lies behind this disability is the fear of suffering, when leaving someone means great suffering to who is ??or at least that’s what you think, a lot of people can’t take that step forward. Responsible for such profound suffering in another person paralyzes them, yet are they really responsible?
Just as some people end a relationship without thinking too much about it, others feel that each other’s suffering is their responsibility. “If I leave this relationship, he will suffer, and if he suffers, it’s because I’m breaking up. “so it’s my fault A lot of people think so.
At this point, one wonders whether there is any guilt or responsibility for harming others, it is true that the end can trigger suffering, but don’t we do more harm by living in lies?Each of us must learn to live with emotions. classified as harmful, such as the emotions we may feel at work, with the death of a family member, or for the purpose of a relationship.
Another major challenge we face when a relationship ends is not accepting “being abandoned. “How many couples leave because one of them refuses to accept the end?I mean, how many people are together out of pity or pity?I don’t want to hurt that person, let’s go a little more and see if the flame comes back on. A lot of people think so.
Knowing how to stay is essential so that the end is as painless as possible. Giving relationship opportunities is not a bad idea, but when your partner expresses more than once that she no longer wants to, why force the situation? Why be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
Psychologist Ana Doménech (1994) states that the end of a relationship is “a stressor that affects a person’s sense of well-being, especially if he refuses to accept the end of the relationship with the couple. “But what’s behind not wanting to leave him behind?
When a partner makes it difficult to rupture, it can be a symptom of a strong display of foolish attachment, so if we put our happiness in the hands of the person we are with, when they leave us. , we’ll be terrified. Fortunately, however, our happiness depends more on ourselves than on that person, although sometimes we ignore it.
“Suffering comes from attachment. Fear is born of attachment. For those who are free from all attachment, is there no suffering, much less fear?. – Bouddha-
Alzugaray and García (2015) state that “rarely do both members agree with the end of the relationship, generally one still loves while the other does not like it, so it is necessary to consider the emotional processes that follow an end as a true process of mourning.
Not knowing how to end a relationship can imply a strong attachment to the other person, it can also be a sign of not knowing how to be with ourselves, the result of a deep fear of being alone. But then, how do you deal with the moment the other one says you don’t want to stay with us?
Trying to fight for the relationship can work in some situations. However, when the other person doesn’t want to prolong the relationship anymore, it’s time to accept the situation and learn to let it go. It’s time to ease this last point to start rebuilding.
“If we look at the object of our attachment with a new simplicity, we will understand that it is not this object that makes us suffer, but the way we cling to it. “
Acceptance is an active process for integrating everything that happens and, from there, making decisions, there are events that we can control and others that will be beyond our control, when the person with whom we express the intention to terminate the relationship and we can’t do anything else, we enter into those situations where we no longer have control , so the best option is to accept the situation.
As desperate as we are, begging not to be left is an option we should avoid, because forcing a relationship only creates unrest. So, besides accepting, we have to learn to let go, nobody belongs to us. As much as we think that the person we are with is “ours”, he is actually a free person who has voluntarily chosen to be with us. So just as it comes freely, you must be able to go with the same freedom.