When we’re so exhausted that we can’t even control our emotions, is it because we’ve lost all our social skills?It’s not like it happened so radically, it’s gradual. This is exactly what the ego depletion theory exposes.
It is when, after an argument, breakdown of a relationship or going through a very stressful situation, you realize that it is extremely difficult to make decisions, fulfill tasks, be pleasant and even polite.
- It doesn’t last forever.
- But depending on how long a person is exposed to this stressful situation.
- It will last more or less.
This is exactly the point that many psychologists have studied: why this happens in these circumstances. This study has given rise to an interesting theory that explains why these events occur.
Better yet, when you know why, you’ll also get closer to the solution.
According to this theory, when a person suffers a very intense and/or lasting loss of mental energy, he loses the ability to self-regulate over a period of time.
That is, the person is not able to fully control his emotions, impulses and, therefore, his behavior, because skills as important as guilt, self-affirmation and empathy are affected.
The ego, that is, the “I”, is that part of our psychology that must adapt to external situations. That’s why it’s so important to know how to react when desires, whims, tense situations arise, etc.
That will depend on the choice between acting without thinking or knowing how to talk to each other to manage situations.
What happens when, because of the difficulty of the situation or its duration, this ego is controlled at extreme levels ?, when it remains severely repressed for a long time or at an extremely sensitive time, it runs out and cannot function for a while. time.
Just like after running a marathon, the body is so physically exhausted by effort that for a while, even the simplest move is expensive.
Therefore, after a phase of mental and psychic exhaustion, our self will have less energy to exercise self-regulation, as studied by the theory of self exhaustion.
The first to develop such a hypothesis was Roy Baumeister, a renowned psychologist, according to him, when the self is not in the way it should be, since many resources that are commonly used on a day-to-day basis have been exhausted, the direct consequence is that it cannot perform certain functions, such as:
This means that the person will not act psychologically ideally, but not because he does not want to, but because he cannot, because he has already exhausted some of his resources, so he will let himself be carried away by desires, whims. , emotions, etc.
While the consequences on self-regulation of a person’s emotions, according to the ego exhaustion theory, are quite significant, recovery is not difficult and can be achieved in a relatively simple way, you should follow these steps:
Physical exhaustion is something that we consider totally normal, as is rest, so try also to rest your ego, to cure or prevent exhaustion and to be able to ideally solve everyday situations.
You will be happier and happier to others, while your fitness and relationships will improve considerably. Don’t get too tired in any way, and if you do, let him laugh.
“The ability to pause and not act on the first impulse has become a crucial learning experience in everyday life. “- RE. Goleman-