We all need to feel like we’re loved. It’s almost as important as eating or sleeping: a basic necessity. When you feel that you are not loved, you think that no one cares enough about you, it is as if you are deprived of the food of life Physical survival depends on food and sleep, and emotional survival depends on affection.
The feeling of not being loved really comes from different sources. Initially, it is a truth that all beings feel. Nobody likes us perfectly. Even the deepest and most sincere loves, such as that of mothers, are imperfect and incomplete.
“If you don’t break, how can you open your heart?”Khalil Gibran-
If you make love too idealized, you may find that no one really loves you because no one wants to give their life for you or because people end up making mistakes and aren’t always available when you need them. Emotional need demands more love than others can give. Because their expectations are very high, they end up not meeting. As a result, these people are constantly disappointed.
Sometimes you may feel that you are not loved because you simply cannot create true bonds of affection with people, maybe you are hiding under your skin or you are becoming ingested, you may not know how to build and maintain bonds of affection. Then you feel trapped by a loneliness that hurts, a disaffected one that hurts.
Usually, when you feel like no one likes you, no one also includes you. It’s relatively easy to see that your self-esteem is at stake. It’s also easy to say, “Well, now I have to love myself more. “The hardest part is making it happen.
The fact is not that the person does not want to love himself, he simply does not find a way to do it, the lack of self-esteem was not born out of nowhere, behind this feeling there is a story of disaffection that sometimes includes abandonment or violent aggression.
One of the most likely reasons for this feeling of disamorant for ourselves is that in the early years of our lives we were presented with false arguments, often disguised as innocence. One way or another, we had the idea that we weren’t worthy enough to love.
And we believe this because that certainly made us think he was a loved one, even admired by us. It is quite possible that we begin life by loving without being loved. Carrying one, why, we might even learn not to love ourselves just to please a parent or loved one who expected this from us because he was lost.
Sometimes we live in a state of emotional deprivation. Or, in other words, lack of affection, we can even conclude that we do not want to live like this, but it is not easy to undo the knot that joins us to this condition, at this point it is worth it. trying to answer the subtitle question: Do we help people love each other?
Even if the feeling that no one really loves us is profound, the exit from this well is not left behind, sometimes it is only a matter of forgiving those who do not like us for their emotional limitations, it is a matter of admitting that disinterest had much more to do with others than with us.
It also means forgiving ourselves because, in fact, we have done nothing or done anything to deserve this love, to understand that there is nothing wrong with us, and that any feeling of guilt, with the resulting punishment, has no reason why it exists.
It is important to ask whether you know how to love others, whether our conception of love has evolved sufficiently to understand that giving affection does not mean arbitrarily sacrificing yourself for others, nor being extremely anxious to meet the needs of others.
Sometimes we have a desperate need for affection and it scares people away, it scares people away. It’s a signed confession that we don’t like each other and we need the other person to feel some appreciation for ourselves. The truth is, no one wants to take that responsibility and doesn’t have to.
We may not have developed enough social skills either, but we can always learn to communicate with others in a better and more spontaneous way, this is learned, applied and trained. Then it works. This is the first step in breaking down the barrier that separates us from others. Perhaps, after opening the doors, we can learn to progress in this wonderful adventure of mutual affection.