Tell the truth: how many times have you heard or read that the first year is the most difficult, and how many times have you had the opportunity to feel that this is an undeniable maxim?Maybe this is your moment in life, maybe you didn’t survive or maybe you’re the lucky one he’ll say?Is this true, isn’t it, from the top of your overcoming and your survival right now that for me, yes, it’s the hardest thing.
The first year of coexistence is undoubtedly the most difficult. Coexistence! This does not apply to these sporadic encounters, nor to those relationships in which we find ourselves feeling and in a good mood, or in pajamas and dengous and spent a weekend of passionate love with each other. I’m talking about the first year of 24 hours a day, 365 days a year full of routine, trinkets, toothbrushes in the same closet, little bodies in the same bed every day.
- It’s because you know? I was going to Google the advice of loving counselors.
- Couple therapists.
- Etc.
- But anyway.
- I think you know the answer and so do I.
- Because this is the first year!Year to really meet the other person.
- Addictions.
- Habits.
- Bad habits.
- Qualities.
- With which face you wake up in the morning.
- Snore at night.
- How you go without makeup or without this gel in the hair.
The year I learned that when bills arrive, the mood changes and the tension is installed. Maybe this pizza needs to be delayed and you become a pilot and co-pilot of the stove, yes, as was the case with your parents, grandparents?It becomes routine, it becomes real life, a year of understanding that when there are discussions and spirits are lit, we do not close the door of the car and do not stop at the child’s bed, looking at the ceiling and exchanging messages of love and forgiveness afterwards?.
We have to stay. Look you in the eye, pause in another room in the house, go back to the same room, to the same bed and remember that you did not make a vow to a judge, God or any other witness, but to that person, swearing that you loved them and that they wanted to be with them every day.
And now that you realize that the prince becomes a frog from time to time?That the princess often loses her sweetness and becomes bitter, sometimes even cruel?Now that you notice differences that reduce so many previously scored affinities, when defects were minimized. for the convenience of the absence of such a routine? Now what are you doing?
Whether they come from the same culture, the same religion, childhood friends or strangers who loved each other at first sight, people are people and as obvious as it may seem, we must remember that we are all different. inside that no one knows, there is a unique person with his own fears, dreams, dreams, nightmares, expectations and personality.
When this person is tested by living daily with another person, he does not delay, he manifests himself, because he must also exist outside. What do you think reality show betting is based on?In the certainty that the Organizers are sure that it does not take long, the routine exposes real people in search of their space.
I don’t think many survive the first year when they realize they have to live with someone who will sometimes be ignorant, bigoted, who won’t say I love you over and over again, who will argue over bills and tight budget. when money didn’t seem like a problem before. Someone who pulls the blanket at dawn and prefers to stand on their backs to sleep on the left side.
You may be inclined to say that you don’t do that kind of thing, but you do; otherwise, others that end for the same purpose. You have your own habits, customs, habits, and they will appear throughout this period when you try love. It’s tested, yes! Those who are sure that in addition to all the remarkable differences survive, there is a greater feeling that is willing to overcome and learn to live with it.
Survive those who are willing to give in to what is not so relevant, for the sake of the peace and well-being of the relationship. “I’d rather have peace than be right,” said a wise man who understood that it is not always necessary to be winners, it is often more valuable to forget and let go than to win a useless argument that leads to nothing.
Of course, this is also the year to decide whether to leave or stay, realize that you have made the biggest mistake of life and try to repair it by jumping out of the canoe, whoever wants to adapt, gives in, concedes, but eye. : People don’t change!It’s not enough! There are immutable features where, if you expect the weather to change, if you’re one of those who say “but am I going to change that on him or her?”, you sign the insolvency contract because sooner or later it will happen.
If there are things in the other person that are unbearable, intolerable, unpleasant, and perhaps immutable, you may need to think seriously and decide to stay or stay, and if you stay, know it’s how it is. hang on, know you’re going to have a grueling relationship, constant fights that can ruin the relationship. Sometimes you have to admit it didn’t work and move on.
Anyway, as fluffy or hot as the other, next or next, the first year is the first and the end. You’ll still pass this test, more or less easily, but you will. You can already understand that you’ve boarded a fleeting ship and are moving on to another relationship, but keep in mind that it will have the same difficult first year. What changes the power of the challenge is the size of love and the certainty of feeling.
Love endures everything, everything awaits you? It’s biblical and it’s real. Obviously, despite everything, he does not contemplate abuse, betrayal, disrespect and other things that every rational being understands. I think the person who inspired this article referred to those differences that test our resilience.
If you like it? If you want, let the other one stay, if you’re not sure, free yourself, free the other so that life sinks, but think well before acting. Sometimes pain and resentment make vision blurred and even where there is love, there can be pain, it is part of life. Part of what I usually say: “Loving alone is not enough. Only love can’t stand ?. Do not act recklessly, show love in the company of friendship, tolerance, patience, perseverance and always show empathy.
Good life for survivors! Good luck to those who dropped out of school and will have another first year to prove that love is good and rewarding for those lucky enough to find it.
In all circumstances, knowing, happily ever after, or happily ever after, is a fairy tale thing. Real life is not always happy, but always together, building happiness, every day, on sunny days and on cloudy days.