We all have basic needs that are essential. For example, eating every day, having friends to trust, or a job that gives us a salary that allows us to pay our bills. However, there are 5 basic needs that, according to NARM, also deserve our attention.
The acronym NARM refers to a neuroafective model that was largely detailed by its creator, Dr. Laurence Heller, in the book “Healing the Trauma of Development”. If the basic needs according to NARM are not met, the insufficiency that occurs in us an imbalance, which can manifest itself in the body in the form of tension or disease.
- Then we will look at the 5 basic needs according to NARM.
- Their definition and what can happen if each of them is not sufficiently met.
We may feel identified with one of them, which will allow us to take steps to prevent this need from being synonymous with need or discomfort.
Have you ever felt disconnected from your group of friends?Did you think you should have been born in another time to feel a connection with others and the world around you?This may indicate that the first of the basic requirements under NARM has not been adequately met.
When this happens, we may not be able to connect with our bodies and emotions, resulting in a lack of connection with the emotions of others.
Also, we may feel a burden or even believe that we don’t need anyone, which will greatly affect our relationship. The feeling of belonging to the world is fundamental.
This second basic need can be confused with the previous one, because the two are closely related. However, in this case tuning refers to the ability to recognize our own needs to isolate a pattern and intuit it in others.
In this way we will be able to respond to the needs of others with empathy and respect, if we do not we will feel dissatisfied and empty, in addition, in some cases, we can become complacent people so that others can. meet a new need: to feel indispensable.
“Because our basic biological needs are met from birth, we develop basic skills that allow us to recognize and meet these needs in adulthood. “Laurence Heller
Trust, not only in ourselves, but also in others, is the key to preventing the development of addictive relationships that generate great suffering.
While it’s true that we always depend one way or another on the other, there are differences between a healthy addiction and one that isn’t.
Therefore, surrounding ourselves with people who are not toxic and with which we can have healthy relationships will prevent us from feel small, betrayed or tend to take advantage of others.
This fourth fundamental need is closely related to the previous explanation of addiction: are we afraid that the people around us will abandon us?, are we unable to assert ourselves (say?Don’t you?) Why do we feel guilty?
If you answered yes to the above questions, you may not be adequately addressing this basic need.
Being able to say what we think and feel and how to put limits on our relationships is very important for balance, otherwise we may feel resentment or fear of disappointing others.
“These people must see that as long as they continue to please others at their expense, they will be trapped. “Laurence Heller
Feeling loved by others is very important. A need that, if not satisfied, may end up leading to the rejection of loneliness and “I”. Therefore, taking care of relationships with others should not compromise self-love. It is an essential condition for a healthy relationship.
Similarly, we cannot ignore sexuality. Sexuality must be lived with fullness and freedom to generate satisfaction, other words, we will feel rejected, wounded and even believe that we have a physical defect.
However, we can also act with pride, rejecting others first or believing that we are perfect and therefore that no one deserves us.
As we have seen, it is important to meet basic needs in order to cultivate a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. Have you identified the need you have not yet met?If you feel unable to cope with this deficiency, don’t do it. hesitate to put yourself in the hands of a professional.