Human beings live our lives by connecting emotionally with people who, when they abandon us, plunge us into a painful duel.
Grief is a feeling of pain, a feeling that occurs when that person leaves and begins a battle of desire in us, but I can’t.
- “Any loss of the past without closure becomes a weight that does not allow me to take off.
- Which does not allow me to move on.
- -Bernardo Stamateas-.
When we dive into a deep loss, we realize that it’s very difficult to get out of it. For starters, we’ll probably face an internal battle: one side accepts loss, but the other refuses.
It is something that is perfectly normal, something that we need to understand and that we need to understand, never blame you and do not feel bad about it, the reaction you have is quite normal and the ups and downs are a feature of grief. There are days when you may feel you are moving forward and others when you go back a little; what matters is your progress in general terms.
“Do you not confuse suffering with love, nor pain with forgetfulness to overcome?
Now that we know what grief is, we need to know the different types that exist.
Knowledge will allow us to analyze if we have ever suffered a loss, if we have to face it in the future or if you have the opportunity to help someone who is experiencing it, in this way we will better understand what is happening. to us, accept it and thus be able to overcome it.
In pathological bereavement, acceptance of loss does not occur at any time, only denial is present to it.
In the mind of the person who suffers this type of duel, certain mechanisms come into action that protect them from this reality that hurts so much, it is as if the person had created a kind of ghost land in which they traverse the abyss. without paying the price of the fall, but also without being able to return to the mainland.
“Holding on doesn’t close losses. -Bernardo Stamateas-
Phrases like “nothing happened here,” “nothing has changed,” etc. , appear in your mind. This only takes over from pain, but little by little, like rain entering the bones.
It looks like the previous one, but it has nothing to do with it. In denial, the grieving person cannot express how he feels, which makes him uncomfortable.
Swallowing and removing was never good. Sometimes crying allows us to get rid of everything that hurts us.
“Not allowing you to really feel about what you’re going through will end up hurting your body and soul. -Bernardo Stamateas-
This kind of mourning occurs in people who believe that crying or suffering will make them show their weaknesses to others, is that why they keep everything to themselves?Until they can no longer do so and erupts in a totally unpredictable and normally uncontrolled way.
In an intensified pain, the passer-by loses everything he carries in himself, without suppressing anything at all Can you cry, scream, express your anger?
This may seem beneficial, but such an expression of pain, perhaps experienced in a deeper way, sometimes causes these people to fall into depression.
It doesn’t end because it falls, it falls because it’s already broken.
It’s good to express what you feel, but choosing the right shape and channel. Nor does it make sense to seek to have fun in one’s own suffering, in the form of atonement because of guilt.
Ambiguous bereavement occurs when we don’t know if the person we love is actually dead or not, this usually happens with missing persons, abducted persons, etc.
It’s a kind of mourning also known as “frozen grief” because it stays in the uncertainty, waiting for news, the feeling of not understanding what’s going on and not really knowing anything about the worst kind of grief you can suffer, until you hear from yourself?
Whatever mourning you decide to have, you must learn that pain is not a condition but a process, we need space and time to live this pain, so that we can reconcile with life. -Bernardo Stamateas-
None of us are immune to terrible pain. It’s something we all go through at some point in our lives. Grief is a painful situation, but it is also a situation of overcoming.
Knowing these pains will allow you to understand what you’re going through and open your eyes to a more anticipated future. It’s normal to suffer, but will all the storms pass? And you, before you know it, you’ll move on.
Images courtesy of Matt Wisniewski.