Most of the time, when we manage to control our revolt, we regret being in such a mess. Sometimes because the subject didn’t matter, sometimes because we didn’t want to hurt someone we care about, etc. you yourself continue with the list.
Undoubtedly, it is very likely that, on many occasions, the reason is more important and the reason is totally on your side, but when the revolt passes, if you think about it a little more, you may still think it wasn’t worth it, it’s worth it. I’m not talking about the cause or the reasons, which were certainly important, I’m talking about the ways.
- When we rebel.
- We get losed.
- Feelings kidnap us.
- Specifically the amygdala.
- A structure that we have in our brain that has an obligation to ensure survival and that.
- If not controlled in time.
- Turns us on and forces us to enter a maze of feelings that overshadows us.
- Blocks us and makes us a little irrational.
The amygdala is designed to respond quickly to danger, without stopping to compare the er and cons, which makes the cerebral cortex. In fact, in a dangerous situation, we could lose precious seconds. It is a good mechanism if the danger is real, but it is triggered by any triviality and ends up being a problem, because once the mechanism is in operation, a cocktail of hormones is thrown into our bloodstream, with consequences that we well know.
It is not pleasant to get angry and make things worse, the revolt puts us in a state that prevents us from acting properly.
If it’s someone else to upset, you have to distance yourself to avoid contagion, because it’s a feeling that spreads very easily.
The caller must have time to calm down; each person needs a different time, depending also on the intensity of the revolt. Let’s be aware that all these hormones circulating in your body should be physically spread, not figuratively.
Then, when he gets back to normal, we can talk calmly, as long as the other cares enough about him; otherwise, it would be enough to distance yourself, physically and emotionally.
But what if you are the one who rebels you, then in this case it is worth remembering that you have a quarter of a second to stop the process; If you notice it in time, just before you start, you can stop it, it’s like when you throw yourself on a trampoline. Imagine a very large one, if you take the pulse and are afraid at that moment, you can always put your hands on and stop your movement, but it is impossible if you are already halfway.
A good question for these seconds would be: what I care about now is important in a few months?
Another good recommendation is to take a deep breath and exhale slowly, to stay away from the situation: try to imagine yourself as a spectator of what is happening.
If you finally get into the eye of the hurricane, try to isolate yourself so you don’t hurt anyone and give yourself time to expel all the hormones flowing through your blood.
Then, once the uprising is over, discuss what happened and how it happened. Ask yourself, “What options did I have?” Look what you’ve learned for next time, because that’s what’s going to move you forward.