The use of metaphors and experience exercises is very common so that we can clarify hidden or difficult aspects of our lives.
Some new therapies, such as Wilson and Hayes’ acceptance and engagement therapy, are already using them as one of their main tools.
- In this article we will discuss one of them and then explain its meaning so that you can apply it in your daily life.
Take a trash can and fill it with garbage. If you don’t have a trash can, imagine a lot of crap of all kinds, so ask yourself if you can reach the trash can. Obviously, the answer is usually no.
In a second situation, imagine now that at the bottom of the garbage there is something that is very close to your heart, it can be the money, the ability to establish a relationship with the person you want, the cure of a disease, etc. Now, would you put your hand in the trash?
If what we’ve decided to do is really important, you’d be putting your hand in the trash, but would you feel “disgusted”?Most likely, but unlike the first situation, in this second you feel disgusted, it makes sense, it has a purpose.
We don’t ask you to put your hand in the trash thinking it’s a wonderful thing or smells good, but the desire to achieve a goal pushes us to do things that have unpleasant psychological consequences.
If we think that the end result is worthwhile, we will not worry about that unpleasant moment to achieve it, therein lies the importance of working properly your values.
Basically, this metaphor tries to break with the literality of thoughts and behaviors that most people have, although in some cases it is more pronounced than in others.
Let’s look at an example
? You wake up in the morning and, honestly, your reflection on yourself and what will happen in your day is not very “positive”. You usually spin in your head, your mind starts repeating phrases like, “Nothing works for me?””Am I rubbish?,?
Faced with this situation, the metaphor we present to you wants to send you a message: what are you going to do with this thought?
I mean, are you prepared to put up with tiredness and unforeseenness, to put your hand in the trash to achieve the valuables in the bottom, a mortgage payment, maybe a promotion at work, or the other way around?You’re going to panic with these thoughts and, because you think it’s rubbish, you’re going to throw yourself away?
What do you want?
If the goal is really worth it, the metaphor tells you that you need to endure stressful days or workloads to achieve what you want; no matter how you feel, thoughts and feelings are automatic, but we shouldn’t throw everything away.
Sometimes we think we can’t go on and we feel discouraged, and that’s normal. Knowing that this feeling is part of the process is really important. There will be pleasant moments and a few few less; the point is to keep in mind that what you want costs something.
For example, if your work is valuable to you and you don’t want to lose it, it’s common for you to have a hard time; In addition, you will become a more resilient, effective and consistent person. Think about the costs and benefits of letting yourself be carried away by your thoughts and weigh the consequences.
Of course, if you act without letting yourself be carried away, you will be in control of your thoughts because you will let them exist and yet you will be able to act functionally.
Striving, persevering, staying on the road and going through difficulties is something that has value when we get what we want: the satisfaction of having achieved it on our own merits.
So, remember this metaphor before you throw it all away and throw yourself away?