To explain what the ghost image is, let’s take an example.
Julia can’t believe it. He had a nearly a year-long relationship with a man who seemed to be the greatest love of his life. Suddenly everything started to change, he said “overnight. “The thing is, this man I’d put all her expectations of a romantic relationship disappeared without saying anything, she still doesn’t know if it was a way to end the relationship or just create a temporary distance.
- The situation is confusing.
- She called him and texted him.
- But he didn’t answer.
- She doesn’t know if she should keep trying.
- Sometimes he thinks he has a problem and that’s why he doesn’t show up.
- Other times he thinks he just didn’t have the courage to finish it face-to-face.
- So he left and now he’s avoiding it.
Do you know this situation? Julia is a fictional character, but I’m sure we all know a certain Julia or we were at some point. It turns out that disappearing from the relationship, rather than ending it directly, has become a common practice. And it’s so common that it’s become a common practice. He even earned a name: the ghost image, which means the person becomes a ghost overnight. Why is this happening?
It is assumed that this should not happen in adults, when a romantic relationship begins they both assume that it will continue until one of them wants to finish, the reasonable thing is that this moment is marked in time by open communication, so the others understand that the bond is over and that they are all free to manage their emotional life independently.
We all know that ending a relationship won’t be easy, both tend to get hurt, but in general, what didn’t make the decision or didn’t prove it?What’s left, or “the one that’s left” is getting worse. However unpleasant this moment may be, it is understood that the least that needs to be done is to inform the other that the link has been broken.
This, which seems so obvious, is not so clear to many adults, they walk away and, as they walk away, they imagine that the other will understand that this is a way to end the relationship, and it is also very comfortable for them. because they avoid explanations, scenes and bad times.
The problem is that this situation, in itself, has a paradox, choosing to disappear and not finish directly, is that it?Disappeared? It also perpetuates, one way or another, the connection with your ex. And that perpetuates it because the affected person will have a certain degree of uncertainty, which for a while will not allow him to close the problem. You pretend you don’t know, but of course you do. However, your strategy is to close a door and open a window: manipulate your own pain more easily.
As bad as it is, it’s always healthier to end a relationship directly than to leave it on the air and make room for all kinds of performances. When you know you’ve lost someone, whether you like them or not, you start the process of recognizing the situation. It involves going through loss, crying and finding a way to reorganize the emotional world.
If the relationship was not important, disappearance may be an obvious and acceptable conclusion. But if in the romantic relationship there were intense feelings, common projects, expectations created, the situation becomes much more complicated. In these cases, disappearing is giving up in the explicit sense of the term. And for the abandoned, it implies an imprecise duel, which will not be without broken hopes and anger at being ignored as an active part of the relationship.
People disappear? Because they don’t have the clarity or the psychological strength to finish, and they know they’re hurting someone, but they don’t care. They solve the problem by causing great harm to the other, because it gives them some power over the situation, this protects them from the suffering of their grief, because they decide to ignore it and move on. hurts too.
The ghost is a practice of selfish and immature people, who feel inferior to circumstances, do not trust their own resources and have probably also been abandoned in the past, so they do not want to show their grieving face. When they review each other’s feelings, they are usually not honest with themselves, and this, sooner or later, will affect their later relationships as well.