The legend of David and Goliath tells the story of a teenager who faced a giant while the rest of his people trembled in his presence. This story is a metaphor for the giants of adolescence. Adults represent the people, who are afraid of the giant and don’t face it, while David represents our teenagers, who must face the giant Goliath, whether they like it or not.
Adolescence is a time of transition and change, if our children overcome it we will see as a result adults better able to face this world, solve the difficulties that arise and enjoy life, but first there are giants to fight against.
“Is adolescence the conjunction of childhood and adulthood?Louise J. Kaplan
He’s one of the loudest giants. Adolescents will experience changes in bones, height and height, weight and muscle mass; internal organs will also develop and primary and secondary characteristics will develop; many changes will occur in a short period of time. That, teenagers feel uncomfortable and insecure. They see their bodies as new and strange and need time and patience to get used to it.
Today, most tweens have disciplines that address sexuality and the transformations they will go through, on the other hand, it is also important to sit with them and talk about it, give them an extracurricular perspective and always respect them. each other’s time: we don’t want them to stop seeing us as a valid source of consultation, but quite the opposite.
This giant has to do with the body, the hormones, the fantasy, facing this giant implies that they will prove their attractiveness, idealize love, suffer disappointments and fall in love and stop loving very intensely. The other side of this giant is that of gender identity. .
In adolescence, our children will experience a crisis in their gender identity and must be defined in a certain way to feel recognized in this definition, in which a part will be the concept of itself and the emotions it awakens (self-esteem In this definition there are also the values, which will show that there are circumstances in which, whatever they are , it is not easy to be faithful to them.
It is necessary to discover different aspects of identity
At this stage, our children begin to share their problems and doubts with others: teachers, siblings and even young people of the same age or a little older people with which they are likely to feel more comfortable talking. For our part, as parents, It is important that we try to understand and respect it, create an open environment at home gives them the certainty that we will not bombard them with questions or repressions, that we will listen to them when they ask us the question and that we will help them in the best possible way.
“You can see a child growing up when he stops asking where we came from and starts to stop telling where he’s going. “Anonymous
The battle with this giant can be very complicated when there are great conflicts, fights and changes, many parents complain that they have lost their now rebellious children, who are fighting and begin to express their doubts about routines and thoughts that until now had been deeply rooted in family dynamics, aspects they had not previously questioned.
Children continue to live in the house, but are beginning to take giant steps towards independence. An independence they will usually gain by experiencing and making mistakes, no matter how many warnings they receive. It is a transitional period in which they no longer accept their parents’ orders, question the question and seek new identifications and their own place in the world.
To help them it is important to be patient and provide them with an environment in which they feel safe to return, it is important to rely on the education that has been given to them so far and strengthen their autonomy by leaving them in charge of various tasks or trusting that they will be able to behave properly wherever they are.
“Young people have always faced the same problem: how to rebel and comply at the same time?Quentin Crisp?
For teenagers, friends are the key. They are people they can sympathize with, as they also question the adult world and go through the same changes. With friends you can talk openly about all the topics, without fear of being ridiculed or excited. At that moment, friendships are more intense, and lay the foundation for intimacy in adult life.
Teenagers are very influential and tend to adopt trends such as clothing, music, activities and even political positions, having friends ends up being so relevant that they often end up losing their own voice and personality, preferring to follow the flow and not give an opinion. so as not to be lonely, which can lead to problems in the search for one’s identity.
Within groups, addictions can also spread due to social pressure. Groups play a lot with the ability to isolate or reject those who don’t want to follow the ‘rules of the game’. Young people who are shy or have personality problems may experience many problems. conflicts and become very dependent. The group projects values to them and prevents them from thinking individually, pressures them and can make personal responsibility disappear.
As parents, we need to foster our children’s social relationships by teaching them skills to communicate better. Let them visit friends or let them come to their home to get to know them better. Find out who people are with their children and show them that their Children can choose their friends. Be tolerant when you don’t like a friend, as long as you don’t see risky attitudes.
“The conflict between the need to belong to a group and the need to be seen as unique and individual is the main struggle of adolescence. “Jeanne Elium
Although David had to fight Goliath alone, it is not necessary for our children to do so, it is important to trust them and trust us, to believe that we have the tools to help them fight this battle and a thousand more battles.