Facing the guilt that arises in leaving a relationship is, for many, a logical consequence of having taken the initiative, of having taken the last step that ended up breaking the wall. You may have been in this situation; You had a lot of doubts before you did that, to take that step, but in the end you did, knowing that even you would pretend to be the executioner who broke the life of the relationship, so many promises, so many dreams, so many illusions?
Maybe after that, you felt responsible for your pain, your sadness?And even your future! And perhaps on so many occasions it was this guilt that you had foreseen that made you take a step back, two to walk away, three to return, in an exercise of self-destruction more bitter than that of life together. “What’s going to happen, is it fatal, will he suffer a lot?What if I was wrong?
- Do you hear those phrases? The truth is that the figure that leaves many times is full of prejudices and a kind of “hatred” that.
- On so many occasions.
- Does not correspond to reality.
- But to previously conceived ideas on this subject.
- All of which fuels guilt and the muffled Voice that crushes whoever took the step to end the relationship.
“You’ll be the bad guy if you leave him. Wait, maybe you just have to assume you can’t always be happy. Stay with him, because he’ll suffer a lot if you let him. ?This is the “zun zun” you have in your head so many times when you think about leaving a relationship.
The fear suffered by the other, the foolish and unwarranted guilt that we are responsible for their discomfort, often lead us to prolong relationships or never leave them. Does it take us to a state of? Be alert, constant in which we do not do what we want so that the other does not suffer, so time passes and life passes.
It’s a fault that transcends cultures. Based on an erroneous thought in which we feel responsible for the lives of others, for your pain and joy. It is clear, however, that when we left, we tend to blame the suffering of failure on the person who took the step, because it seems to be the source of our displeasure, because the person we love tells us that he no longer wants to be with us.
But one thing is that suffering begins after a rupture, and another is that we, by breaking a relationship, are responsible for their suffering. Life is joy and pain, uncertainty and certainty. It’s love and he has no love on both sides.
We cannot allow anyone to hold us accountable for its existence; otherwise, we’ll never have room for action. We will never be able to make decisions because they will always affect the people around us, we would live in a kind of stage of fear that the balance will break.
If I don’t move, I keep the other from suffering, but in return, I don’t live. If I do not move, I do not live, if I do not make decisions, I do not discover my inner world or the outside world, for fear of the reaction of the other we close what we think and what we feel. We’re not real anymore. We’re not being able to pursue our goals. We put life aside, let the brave live it!
In fact, as a result of this overwhelming and limiting guilt, we are often going backwards, we are trying to rebuild this broken relationship only to avoid it, without any faith in it being able to prosper, we set aside life for those who have enough. courage and mental strength to live it to act and bear the consequences of what they decide.
We cannot allow others to increase our burden on their lives; nor can we do it voluntarily. It is a sacrifice of barren fruits that only prolongs the desert and nourishes the mirages.
Does this prevent the experiences necessary to grow, learn, be adults, be mentally richer?All our experiences give quality to our growth. Suffering is part of life, and no one can take something that is part of it to limit the guilt that results from a totally false thought.
So it’s not your fault that forces you to stay, if that’s not what you want. The other person also deserves to be authentic and honest with her.