Prioritizing yourself is a healthy, useful and necessary practice, practicing this skill is not an act of selfishness, because to love this person who reflects on our mirror without excuses, conditions or postponements is to take care of oneself: investing in personal well-being and quality of life, in addition, those who take care of themselves can also offer the best of themselves to others.
For example, it is curious to know that Socrates himself focused some of his teachings on the concept of self-care or what was then defined as “epimeleia heautou”. Later, Michel Foucault will return to this idea, to go a little further. and concludes: it is only when a person can really know himself, take care of himself and offer himself courage, can he attain true freedom.
“If you don’t have self-esteem, what love can you aspire to?”
The truth is that we do not know when and why most people began to hear that the implementation of this type of strategy was a selfish and selfish act, they have confused the terms, to the point of making us believe that altruism and respect for others we do not harmonize in any way with self-care or the possibility of prioritizing ourselves as we deserve. Something totally wrong.
Thus, and almost without realizing it, we build relationships where this devout sacrifice lives, which makes us think that the more we offer to others, the more they will love us, the more they will value us. Links where what we do, in fact, is abandon self-esteem in a ditch for our own luck, without looking back, thinking we did the right thing, what everyone expects of us.
Are we going to avoid this harmful practice that triggers many of our problems, frustrations, anxieties, sleepless nights and even physical pains?
When a person fails to prioritize himself to fill his agenda, mind and desires with phrases like “I have to do this or that,” “Expect more from me?”or “I have to do this for this person,” all he can do is feel exhausted. It lacks energy, identity, desires and, most importantly, self-esteem. The most complex thing of all is that sometimes we put these habits into practice without thinking, without wondering for a moment if we really want to do that favor, act or action.
Psychologists explain that we fall into the automatism of “beam, beam, beam”, rationalizing these actions as something natural and necessary, because if we are useful to others, we will be precious and because if we are necessary for our loved ones, then. we will be loved However, this rule of three does not always produce the expected result; in fact, it rarely happens.
What happens in these cases is just as devastating and sad, aware that our continued efforts and sacrifices are not valued, we develop a very critical view of ourselves, we reproach ourselves for being so naive, so pious, to have trusted so much.
Sometimes this inner voice can be very cruel and, when it happens, a somatization appears, translated by this muscle pain, this tiredness that tortures us, these digestive problems, these infections, these headaches and even this fall. Worried hair?
Abandoning the exclusive satisfaction of the needs of others stains us as people, dilutes and exhausts us until we remain empty in terms of mind, hope and identity, when this happens, the first thing we experience is a deep physical exhaustion and dense mental fog. ?
There are many people like this, integrated into the routes of others, such as locomotives that cross the tracks of other territories, other worlds outside yours. They carry loads that are not theirs and do not have a single day of vacation; a day to be themselves and take care of themselves, to serve exclusively their own desires. Maintaining this situation for a long time puts our balance and mental health at risk, so we recommend changing course in this inertia.
In conclusion, these four steps are not learned overnight, if we want and make the firm decision to take more care of ourselves and understand that prioritizing ourselves is an altruistic, necessary and fundamental act, day by day we will be more effective in these strategies: keeping the care of others, but also of us.