My boy also says ‘I love you’, he seeks my hugs, he is affectionate and does not hesitate to show me affection and affection, because both boys and girls also have that sensitive and attentive look that must be respected and stimulated by the proper Emotional Intelligence. , which never suppresses your feelings, needs or emotional treasures. Children need to develop emotional skills, whether boys or girls.
Developing, or rather encouraging, this more sensitive side of our boys is something that is certainly worth investing our attention, our time and, above all, our intuition; however curious it may seem, whatever society and families are committed to supporting it. ? Gender equality, many aspects remain to be observed.
“It is not flesh or blood that makes us fathers and children, but the heart. -Friedrich Von Schiller-
Recently a survey was conducted on children from different schools in Spain in which, for the first time, the girls said that in the future they wanted to look like a specific male figure: Amancio Ortega. Today, girls have understood that, in order to succeed socially, they must integrate in their day-to-day skills as positive as entrepreneurship, risk, courage or action, dimensions that were not so long ago linked to men. time.
However curious it may seem, as girls realize that they can restrict these characteristics to the opposite sex not so long ago, boys are often victims of defensive masculinity in which it is not appropriate to integrate the aspects that have traditionally been identifiers of the female universe, how can sensitivity, delicacy, sweetness be?
Therefore, we could say that despite all our social progress, sexism remains a natural obstacle in the way we educate many of our children. In addition, it should be remembered that the patriarchal system not only discriminates and oppresses women, but also limits men and “dictates. “How they should be, how they should act and how they should react.
Roberto just ended his relationship. After eight years, his ex-partner has openly stated that he no longer loves him, our protagonist saw his world fragment into a thousand pieces and saw each of these pieces soak in his heart and mind, it hurts so much that he can’t breathe, he doesn’t know what to do or how to react.
Roberto feels the need to seek the support of his friends, however, you just realized that he has a relationship based on “activities” with most of his friends, with some plays basketball, with others practice karate or RPG. he’s got his old friend, Carlos, Roberto knows he could talk to him, there’s trust between the two of us and Carlos could hear him, be a friendly shoulder?
But there is still a more complicated, deep and desperate problem for Roberto: he dares not seek this intimacy, he does not know how to do it, he lacks skills. Finally, after a few months of darkness and suicidal thoughts, Roberto decides to seek the help of a professional. After a few months of therapy, the psychologist recommends to Roberto something he had never heard of, something that, curiously, will be as positive as therapeutic: male circles.
Thanks to our socialization, what is often achieved is a clear homogeneity, do our parents instill in us? A whole symbolic and functional plot about ‘how should you be, how should you act and how should you think?’ Depending on your gender. Something like this sooner or later causes contradictions, suffering and innumerable frustrations.
Men’s circles aim to create safe and private spaces where men can talk about their thoughts, their needs and, most importantly, vent their “emotional storms. “One thing in which everyone agrees and that will undoubtedly be of great help to our protagonist is to know that he is free to release the bulletproof armor that society has imposed on him. They are free to cry, to be sensitive, they are free to speak whatever they want without being judged by the classic patriarchal pattern.
Many parents do not see the need to teach male children emotional skills, on the contrary. “Don’t cry,” “Don’t be undecided,” “React,” “Don’t be weak,” “Don’t cry. “If you talk like that, you look like a girl, talk louder. “All of these expressions are, in fact, sexist and discriminatory mandates that completely oppose your child’s emotional development. That’s not right. If from an early age we begin to incorporate this series of codes and roles present in the cultural definition of masculinity, what we will achieve is to give the world an emotionally limited person with an insecure attachment.
“A good father is worth a hundred teachers. -Jean-Jacques Rousseau-
However, it is very likely that these kids will be able and competitive in the field of space and instrumental skills, of which there is no doubt, however, they will not have emotional skills, will not be able to tolerate frustration and will have no effective mechanisms to analyze and manage feelings as common as sadness or fear.
Is it worth educating children who will be unhappy in the future and create environments as frustrating as the ones they had?Of course not. That’s why it’s so important to teach your children emotional skills.
Most children are loving and loving by nature, we are programmed to connect with people and understand that emotional caresses, sensitivity and tenderness allow us to connect better with each other.
We will respect and encourage these aspects, we will allow our boy to continue to develop his emotional expressiveness freely, to be free to ask or give a hug, to have no problem crying when he needs it, to learn to understand those inner universes that, after all, honor us as people. It is necessary to teach children emotional skills without the need to differentiate sexes.