There is no shortage of people who argue that sarcastics are smarter, more agile and brighter in the field of words, however, sarcasm is sometimes loaded with poison, an artillery of covert aggression and subtle contempt that undermines and destroys self-esteem.
Sarcasm as a form of communication has many followers and followers, for example, it appears in several television programs, in which its protagonists show a privileged, exceptional and sometimes inspiring spirit, capable of solving a multitude of criminal riddles and medical challenges. these characters are characterized at the same time by a kind of energetic language, tempered by a certain dose of contempt bitten by high doses of sarcasm.
“The tendency to aggression is a natural disposition in man. -Sigmund Freud-
It should be remembered that this kind of brutal, satirical but intelligent language is clearly detrimental to effective communication, sometimes not only is there obvious contempt, but there is also an obvious inability to establish a neutral dialogue, a harmonious exchange of messages that does not end in mockery as a means of expressing power or domination.
On the other hand, there is one aspect to note, sarcasm is more common in people who have a relationship with some intimacy, such as co-workers, family members or even a romantic relationship, a fact that further intensifies the wear and tear effect of this dimension.
There is a type of bullying that generally doesn’t attract much attention, we talk about sarcasm, and the kind of aggressions that are as common as allowed to occur especially in the adult world, in our professional environments and especially in private places. where the dynamics mentioned above are hidden: couple, family and even friendship.
All right, sorting the types of thugs? Since 2010, intellectual thugs have been experts in condescension, profiles that camouflage your insecurity with dirty words and arrogant phrases, in turn, are pleased to make you feel inferior to others by clearly thinking that you are smarter, more skilful, and clear, bright.
Most negative of all, we often glorify these behaviors or even interpret them as innocent games. At first, there are those who are unable to see this as a form of intimidation or contempt. We end up smiling at the ingenuity and subtle word game. admire the linguistic trick itself. However, when the intellectual persists every day in his verbal artillery, he not only changes, but has serious consequences.
The first consequence is that the relationship with that person becomes vulnerable, it is an attack on the self-esteem of the other, it is an assault and a constant and ruthless “intimidation”. The second aspect, as interesting as it is devastating in turn, is to discover that the sarcasm craftsman is rarely aware of his behavior or intimidating gestures.
These personalities often camouflage a clear interpersonal or social insensitivity, an emotional numbness where all they seek all the time is to impose their intellectual prowess, their ability to speak and their ingenuity, because they are the only tools available to sarcastic. assert yourself as a person.
It is very likely that we are all captive to the subtle verbal wit of characters like Sherlock Holmes; However, far beyond a brilliant mind and a wonderfully gifted brain, there must also be a close, empathetic and respectful person. Prayer doesn’t matter if the message it transmits is malicious.
“The important thing in communication is to listen to what is not said. -Peter Drucker-
This kind of dynamic can often be seen at dinners with friends, for example, a person (male or female) often fails and leaves a sarcastic and inappropriate comment about the spouse that immediately makes people on the other side of the table laugh except the victim himself. In a way, everyone is complicit in this covert aggression, of this disguised contempt before which we must be more attentive to setting limits. Let’s see how.
The first recommendation is simple and fundamental: do not take a passive attitude towards sarcasm, nor is it about reacting in anger, starting an unnecessary confrontation, we cannot forget that we usually find ourselves before a very skilled person with words. , but poor in emotions, and that’s where our advantage lies. Therefore, the first thing to do is to say calmly that this comment did not go well.
On the other hand, if the artisan of sarcasm is our own loving companion, we will have to talk about the pain that this causes us and that this constant attack on our own self-esteem is not a reflection of a sincere, logical, conscious attitude. or mature love. Respect, honesty and affection must be conveyed through that enriching food that is language.
Always remember that sarcasm and intellectual bullies do not deserve to be fed with admiration, but isolated from the truth about what their actions are doing.
Main image courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli.