We increasingly have an older and more experienced world, but it highlights one aspect that many do not pay attention to: the loneliness of the elderly.
As our quality of life improves, life expectancy has also increased, as we were preparing to die, we practically began to live today, as a result, psychology, like other sectors of health, has become more and more towards the elderly.
- Legs.
- Arms and heads that have already been removed.
- But in which there are still many worries and dreams.
- With or without grandchildren.
- More and more people turn 70 and have the physical and mental capacity to withstand high levels of activity.
- On the face.
- The characteristic marks of time may be present.
- But the muscles remain strong and the head remains agile.
- In full functioning.
Perhaps we are talking about the evil of this century, that feeling of communicating with everyone and, at the same time, of not being with anyone. Collect shallow conversations about the weather and watch deep conversations sliding between our fingers, as if they were liquid.
In this sense, the elderly suffer in silence from the technological abyss, they see a world around them that they barely understand, which they see as a very steep hill when they try to approach. Mobile phones, computers, tablets and screens are, after all, like a world without gravity, a universe in which they make no sense.
In a way, it makes them feel excluded, it gives them the feeling that they are a long way from their children or grandchildren because they can’t find a way to get there?For them. They feel that the screens offer many answers that they would have understood in the past with the voice of experience.
This invisible line is very deep. Today’s older people are used to telling stories, expressing their thoughts in words, meeting weekly or every day. Call with a phone, pick up the phone? and feel the buttons sink when pressed. This is the world in which they have struggled for most of their lives to understand and make themselves understood and which now seems to have become obsolete.
The fundamental problem in this sense is not the form, which in itself constitutes the obstacle, it is what prevents it. It prevents the development of common interests, shared games and dialogues with breaks in which there is even boredom. A communication for which nobody has a set of skills, ready and available.
Also, in this sense, we are not just talking about words. We also talk about kisses and hugs that are not given with emoticons. We are talking about the real ones, skin to skin.
Accumulating years is also accumulating suffering. Lost situations that never come back. Childhood situations in which the immediate world constituted an infinite amount of novelty and in which the antics bore the imprint of those who lived life without fear. Children, of course.
The first flirtations, the first true love, the friends with whom we share the dawn, the days of hangover or the notebooks whose pages contain all these plans, with the best common denominator that we have known, the illusion. The first job, the first payment, the first decision with no return.
The last race, the last day of work, the last child, the last drink, the last dance or the last walk. So, accumulating years is accumulating memories and, at the last moment, you are also accumulating activities that it is necessary, due to physical limitations, to give up.
Exceptions that involve natural processes and that can become a problem when older people put them at the forefront of their own definition. When you feel that the weight is greater than the weight of the activities for which there is no obstacle. A current reality that represents it very well. A reality that can be seen every day in many retirement homes.
Many older people who are currently unable to care for themselves end up living in these homes. It is a place that many people fear for the meaning it has. The truth is that many people who will live in these houses never leave them. Many people who lose their physical independence keep their heads clear enough to know that they will not regain it.
This is perhaps, and not another, the main suffering derived from the loneliness of the elderly today. A reality that we hardly talk about, for which we hardly put words or that rarely find a place on Facebook or WhatsApp.
Because it is a sad reality, which is difficult to talk about. In many cases, it is as taboo as sex and teenagers. We act like ostriches, hiding our heads and not intervening. When, in fact, if we do it well, we can do beautiful and important work.
Loneliness, lack of understanding and lack of help in the face of suffering can be the interrelated workhorses with which we can most help our elders. These are the things that make up much of the sadness we see on these people’s faces. In this sense, many older people find themselves abandoned and feel abandoned before they die. They feel like they have been cast out by the generations they have cared for and watched grow.
They would like to say this, but they also feel that they are not welcome, that they do not mix where they have not been called. On the other hand, they want attention, but they don’t want to be a problem or another source of stress for their children. Therefore, they are often silent.
They feel that their problems, concerns, and desires no longer matter. Let family members worry about not getting sick, but not about what they think or want. That what matters is the body, not the soul. A body that he controls with more and more difficulty and that, in the mirror, barely hides the years.
The way the world is built, nursing homes are needed. They play a key role in ensuring care. However, it is up to us not to close the door from the outside when the elderly live there. We must continue to see them as capable people, regardless of their physical ability.
It’s not about visiting, it’s about asking, letting them talk about their fears, acting as a bridge to the outside world if they can’t leave, or serving as writers and readers when asked. Above all, convey the feeling that they are important to us, that far from being a drag, we feel privileged to be able to count on this type of company.
By doing so, we will make our seniors feel welcome in our society. And who says the company says in the family itself. In this way, we will also teach future generations that the human part, no matter what technology we have, can never be lost, much less with the people who need it most and whom we love the most.