What’s the love of smart people like? Science, always interested in this dimension, has shown that, on average, having this profile does not increase the likelihood of finding an emotional partner, are they more analytical, independent, demanding?When they meet someone close to their expectations, the bond they can create is very strong and satisfying.
For anyone looking for a book on this subject, there is no proposal that is more enlightening and, in turn, more entertaining than “The Tao of the Encounter”. (free translation), by Alex Benzer, professor of philosophy at Harvard.
- He explains.
- Ironically.
- Why intelligent people tend to have less lasting relationships.
- As the author himself reveals.
- Not everything that shines is gold.
- And being intellectually brilliant does not necessarily translate into success.
- Especially in some shots.
“Intelligence and common sense set the way with few devices. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe-
Intelligent people get bored easily and sometimes even annoy others with their unique interests and passions, are forgotten, procrastinating, difficult to understand, very demanding (and demanding), roam easily, suffer from constant existential crises and, last but not least, have an emotional thermometer ranging from the most exquisite sensitivity to the most explosive mood.
They are not really easy, there is no doubt about that. Yet all of us, regardless of our IQ, also feature our unique corners, cavities, and edges. In matters of the heart, not everything is harmony and arrows at first sight. We know. However, from a scientific point of view, attention has always been paid to what intelligent people have in common when it comes to experiencing love.
So we have several studies on how love works for smart people. Let’s see them.
Most assume that it is very difficult to be intellectually brilliant and enjoy happy, stable and satisfying emotional relationships at the same time.
It is not easy to find someone like you, a person with the same intellectual potential, the same passions and cognitive singularities, however, sometimes we get carried away by stereotypes and assumptions without allowing ourselves to ask for a little more, without consulting science. Side.
First, there are people with high IQs who make satisfactory commitments; In addition, some people do not need an emotional partner with an exceptional mind to fall in love and participate in a strong relationship.
Emotional connection is enough. In many cases, in order for love to be born, it is enough to have someone capable of enriching views, complementing themselves easily and, in one way or another, stimulating their growth. To understand what love is for intelligent people, we can refer to a work done by the Dutch psychologist Pieternel Dijkstra and his team in 2017.
High IQ profiles have a very clear view of the world, their ideals, philosophy and taste for the transcendental are sometimes very high, so they do not tolerate certain approaches, banal comments or contempt for certain areas of knowledge and knowledge. They love the people, involved, the personalities with which they def from common interests, for similar purposes.
Therefore, it is not easy to find people who, without having to be very intelligent, are brilliant in terms of ideals, sensitivities, so it is so common that this profile is sometimes thwarted with emotional issues, so many disappointments and failed attempts lead them to prefer their loneliness and independence. His desire would be to find a partner to have deeper and more transcendental affinities, those that go beyond intellect.
Professor Pieternel Dijkstra found something interesting in this study: of all the people with high IQs who interviewed and analyzed for several years, many of them had an insecure attachment, what does this mean and what does it mean emotionally?
As we pointed out at the beginning: love can sometimes be as satisfying as it is stable for intelligent people, this happens in people who combine high intellectual potential with good emotional intelligence, we can add another condition: finding someone with the same perspectives, with those affinities with which to harmonize lives and projects.
Love is not enough in these cases; First, this correspondence translates into goals, personal philosophies, goals, values, an involvement with which to allow us to grow together in a common aspiration, when this happens, the couple is very effective, know how to manage their conflicts and they treat each other very well with respect, communication and, at the same time, are couples who have a high sense of humor.
As we can see, love is not impossible in these high potential profiles: they are not condemned to unhappy and ephemeral relationships, there is always a suitable person, someone capable of enriching your intellect and your heart in the same way.