I’ve wondered many times: what do you want? And while collecting failed attempts not to think with my heart, I decided to assume, by myself, that I am a declared recipient of feelings (no filters, I think unfortunately. I always decide). )
As if my heart were a magic pot that adapts to the volume of sensations received without ever overflowing or overloading, it is always open and why not say it, always going through difficult times.
- The other day I was listening to a Gasparetto Talk where he said we really idealized relationships and?Who am I to disagree?You know something.
- This Gasparetto!.
So I tried not to romanticize, let’s be practical! I spoke to my heart. Life is like that, everyone gets away with it and you’ll never find that pot lid that people are looking for, the old shoe for the tired foot, stop!In this way, we have to face the fact that lasting relationships are those in which one side makes concessions about the unpleasantness of the other.
But where can I convince myself? There is no way, it does not come to mind that it is possible that we have a relationship like that and be happy at the same time, until there are differences, because I do not live in the world of the moon either (I think), but there must be Much higher positive trade to make it worth it. Swallowing frogs doesn’t happen
It is not possible that my ideal of relationship exists only in fiction and, if so, everything is solved, I need to find a screenwriter to grow old with me!But as I continue to search and frustrate, I began to think about what kind of love do I want?
Who needs my company, my smile, my good humor, my warmth on the pillow next to me. A love that vibrates with my conquests and shakes me in my defeats so that I don’t give up on failure and give up. love that shares the bottle of wine in the silence of the house and if at the height of the drunk you want to laugh and then cry with me, let’s do it like that.
I want a love that walks barefoot on the beach, feeling the sand on my feet, the wind fussing my hair, looking at me with this immense ocean and breathing the peace I always feel when I look at this imposing immensity.
I want a bride who loves the same ridiculous music as me and turn up the volume to sing badly that horrible chorus we’ll forget the next summer. And be curious and introduce me to new singers and learn a melody with me singing in the shower.
I want a love to have this cup of coffee on Sunday morning and leave the condensed milk box with me, simply because we really like to sin from time to time. I want a love to share popcorn while I watch this romantic comedy that I love and who cries with me in this part where he curiously laughs a lot.
I want a love for my loneliness. The one who hugs me tight and says he understands that I hate to be alone, but that sometimes it happens and everything will be fine, it will soon happen. I want a love that respects my look of repentance when I open the window and I. Look, the day is beautiful, but I want to stay inside, anyway.
I want a love that has the energy to put on a shoe and take a long walk with me to get to a park where there’s nothing, but it’s a park, man. My love would understand how much it already means.
I want a love that understands if I spend hours engrossed in the comments of the things I write and if I get lost in the hours rambling in the texts of my thoughts and lose my bedtime.
I want a love that understands that sometimes I will kiss my children and feel that they are the most important thing in my life, and I will feel their necks while they sleep and sleep with them and forget about the world, I will forget to go back to my bed or take them out, because what I really wanted was for this moment to last as long as possible. And they won’t let me feel their necks anymore?Don’t I want to miss those calls? Let me be with you as long as they don’t come out of my mouth.
I want a love for my moments of PMS, when my own thoughts take me seriously and I end up being myself in a cross-response. Let him know what’s going to happen. As you remember, I’m not always like that, most of the time I’m pretty good.
I want a love to find me a fun company, an intelligent woman, a girl in need, a human being with hormones.
I want a love that loves the company of my silence when I’m engrossed reading a good book.
A love that accepts my flaws, my inconsistencies, my romanticism and my immaturity, in duel with the responsible and sober woman I need to be to survive.
I want romance, affection, lust, practicality, responsibility, maturity, puerility, lack, independence, sobriety and depression. This love will spend the last money on pizza and defer paying the bill of light, and you will call the mason when the pipe breaks and care about the bills at the end of the month.
He likes the clean house and clothes on the clothesline that oozes the softener, but that spoils the closet and bathroom and leaves several beds of pajamas in a corner of the room to be fixed afterwards, when you feel the urgency. in the organized mess of my life and not think about it.
I want a love that does not surpass the things of man and woman, but that we do together or separately the things that make us want, without establishing rules about who had that responsibility.
And wanting so many things of a love, never to find them in someone in whom I projected my expectations that I considered too unreal, I understood and sold to my ex-lovers that it was my fault. “It’s not you, it’s me, “It was the key to my speech about the ending I’ve always established in my relationships.
Finally, when I repeatedly question the kind of love I love and bitter in the loneliness of emptiness when I can’t find that feeling in someone, I think I’ve finally found the kind of love. who I need, who understands me, understands my needs, respects my limits and imperfections and makes me very special when I see my potential, my qualities and the reasons why I am, though too demanding with myself and with whom I go, a woman worthy of being lived.
I anxiously sought someone for the answer to what I wanted, and overwhelmed a lot of people with what I needed, to finally calm my heart by encountering that love that fills me and teaches me to take care of my gaps, when it can’t be. . filled by no one else. It’s a patient and persistent love, and it’s going to have to be, because I still have a lot to learn.
Is it a sober love, also called? Self love!
And when he arrived, I realized that I really couldn’t love anyone because I missed him and his absence blinded me. I realized that the ability to be whatever I want to find was alive within me, so when love comes, I don’t overwhelm you with my will, but I learn to be just someone’s love.