Self-esteem is the part of our self-concept that makes our emotional armor more or less resilient, loving yourself unconditionally is certainly the cornerstone of psychological well-being, because while the concept of self-esteem may seem simple, it’s actually more important than you think.
It is impossible to be happy if you do not love each other, no matter what happens, what people say, our failures, love us and accept us is the basis for building a life full of satisfaction, pleasure and realization.
- Unconditional approval of oneself is such a difficult task that.
- Despite the redundancy.
- It is very difficult to find people who really love each other.
We don’t know exactly why human beings in general love each other so little, it seems that it is the ego and the desire to differentiate the ourselves from the rest of the mortals, when we want to be special or better than others, we end up being bitter, because we discover that we also have gaps and limitations and that we are not as unique as we would like.
This provokes a polarized thought, which says that everything is black or white, arises in our minds and ends up creating in us an internal dialogue like: “If I do not stand out from others, then I am worthless. “
Therefore, the key to good self-esteem is not to get overestimated and feel as important as all other human beings.
If we look at some classic psychological disorders, we will quickly realize that their origin is largely influenced by the lack of self-esteem, this lack of self-esteem will then be projected into dysfunctional beliefs, negative emotions and counterproductive behaviors that sink the person. in a closed circle.
To better understand this, we’ll look at some examples
Anxious people are very afraid of the future. Thoughts are always catastrophic because they believe they may not perform certain tasks or that something terrible can happen. It is clear that behind this fear lies immense insecurity. They don’t trust their own abilities and don’t think they can cope with adversity on their own. Own.
For almost everything, they need someone to help them: to solve their problems or to accompany them and thus lesser their fear. They say, “You’re not good, you just can’t and you don’t know, so you need someone better than you. “
Is this one of the? Natural? From perfectionism taken to the extreme, when someone is a perfectionist they think they have to do everything without making mistakes, it is nothing more than the result, as we have already said, of wanting to be recognized, it is difficult to decide. how to act because it is essential that this decision takes you on the right path; he finally breaks down when he realizes that the desired perfection is unattainable.
In this case, the lack of self-esteem is particularly evident, these people believe that they would be much more valuable if their physical appearance was in line with the unreal ideal established by today’s society, so their personal worth is placed in an aspect that I do not like.
They cannot be loved until their physical appearance suits them, the obsession is so great that, as in ODO, they seek an invented and impossible physical perfection that ends up damaging their body image in surprising ways: they realize otherwise what they wanted.
When I think others are better than me or that I’m not worthy of esteem, I will most likely become emotionally dependent and accept certain behaviors from the other person that I wouldn’t normally tolerate. The addict’s thoughts say, “Because I’m worthless and don’t deserve love, I’m happy with your crumbs and I’m at the mercy of what you want to do with me. “
In this case, the deamor is also very visible. Depressed people are considered “very small” worthless, so this barrier slows down the implementation of their goals.
They believe they won’t succeed in any business, and even get to a point where they can’t make sense of things. For what??.
They feel guilty, miserable, victims, they are convinced that they are useless and that, therefore, no one will value them.
Many other disorders could be cited: those related to impulse control as a means of filling internal gaps, personality gaps, etc. We can easily see that the common denominator in everything is deamoration, and if professionals do not work effectively in personal acceptance, healing becomes virtually impossible, because we would only work at a superficial level.
Having self-ception as our main goal makes us free: failures become less important, as well as criticism or rejection of others, we will stop seeking perfection and allow ourselves to act in our personal discretion, regardless of everything around us.