We could talk about different types of creation, educating and transmitting values, and although it is true that no one comes to the world knowing how to raise a child so that tomorrow will be happy, every parent knows that the basis of all this is love. .
However, the problem lies precisely in the way these people understand the word “love. “Does loving a child mean protecting him from harm and catching him forever in a bubble?
- Does loving a child censor everything he does.
- Says.
- Or chooses.
- With the idea of making him follow the path that the father deems acceptable to him?.
Toxic mothers, authoritarian parents? Educational styles that, far from promoting personal development, autonomy and establishing a healthy bond with children, destroy them in many cases.
And what about toxic mothers, who manipulate and weave their narrow nets to meet their own needs, to prevent the child from leaving their comfort zone?Without a doubt, we all know how to identify these toxic reproductive styles.
Childhood experiences are printed footprints in our brains, failures of incomprehension, abyss of insecurity and memories, often full of hatred that will determine much of adult life.
Let’s talk today in this space about harmful education and how it can be reflected in children’s brains.
Stress is not a condition that only characterizes our adult life, a newborn who is not cared for when he cries suffers from stress, a baby who does not receive caresses and affection suffers from stress.
But what happens in the case of an agricultural style influenced by a toxic mother, a toxic parent or authoritarian parents?
? The child is under a lot of pressure every day. You know that each of your steps, words or choices will be analyzed and even censored, is subjected to a continuous state of insecurity that ends up sinking it into a well of stress and anxiety.
? In addition, the child is often in the complex situation of wanting to get rid of that toxic mother who watches over everything she does, who dictates what to do, however, the idea of leaving this area of influence, this comfort zone, is also scary.
? He fears that any challenge to the authoritarian father or toxic mother will have serious consequences. Are you afraid of punishment and you’re afraid too? All of this creates stress.
? Children who are stressed from an early age through adolescence have very high levels of cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine.
? These hormones and neurotransmitters cause small changes in structures such as the hippocampus, amygdala and frontal lobe.
? How does this translate on a behavioral or emotional level?There are deficits in working memory, i. e. in the ability to solve problems.
? The hippocampus, for example, is related to emotions and memory, while the frontal cortex is linked to decision-making, meaning that children under very high stress tend to have certain problems when deciding things, solving problematic situations, maintaining inner balance and self. -Control when they have to undertake a task or solve a problem.
? It is clear that everyone will have their own personal stories and that we cannot generalize this fact, however, intense stress in childhood is often related to insecurity and difficulty in resolving or getting out of complicated situations.
A toxic farming style will generate in children a convulsive torrent of opposing emotions; toxic mothers, for example, often provoke relationships of love and hatred, as well as complex addictions, where need, fear, hatred and affection alternate.
With an authoritarian educational style the power of fear is exercised, which provokes very negative emotions that have marked children for a long time, if it is true that as we grow up, we can react to this influence, is that something that always leaves her?Fingerprint?
Let’s take a look at this
? The most negative and intense emotions are undoubtedly fear and anger, very common sensations in a toxic parenting style, where there can also be moments of peace, the curious thing is that in a child’s brain they tend to have negative memories more impact.
? Fear and anger are concentrated in a primary structure called amygdala, it is part of the limbic system and is located deep in temporal lobes, its function is to store emotional experiences and establish the so-called conditioning of fear.
? It is also the amygdala that helps us establish a long-term memory, and therefore all these negative facts that we live in our childhood and that have produced bad things, fear or anger, are sensations that usually stay for life.
? The amygdala leaves a mark so that when we reach adulthood we use many of these memories to react and avoid certain things, or to fall prisoners of the same fears, it is undoubtedly a very complex dimension.
We are all prisoners of the past, of these toxic reproductive styles, but we also have the right and duty to be free, to heal childhood wounds and to continue to grow.
Image credits: Anna Radchenko.