The romantic poet Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer once said that “is loneliness very beautiful?When’s someone to tell that to? Sometimes our mood is filled with the sound of change and transformation, something that happens in all areas, including family and relationship with our children.
One of the most common transformations in the natural evolution of family dynamics is the independence of children, many parents feel this separation from their children with the joy of being able to witness an important step for all and hoping to have time to do they had to give up on the birth of those who leave now.
- On the other hand.
- This joy usually opposes the feeling of sadness that arises when they feel that they are leaving and that they probably will not return.
- It is this last feeling that.
- With an intensity and permanence in time.
- Will give birth to empty nest syndrome.
“Loneliness is sometimes the best business, and a brief rest brings a gentle return. – John Milton-
When a child, especially the latter, leaves home, his parents suffer a deep void, in this way something as socially accepted as a young man leaving to form his own family will define the mood of those he leaves behind.
Leaving behind? The fact is, no. A child who leaves home leaves no one behind, follows his path and moves home, but his parents will always be a fundamental part of his life, however, the fact that a young man leaves the family nucleus to set up his own home can generate a lot of anxiety in parents. This situation is often particularly painful and causes a gap in mothers, who feel their little one move away from their arms.
According to Sata Montejano, a psychologist specializing in psychopathology and cognitive and behavioral health therapies, these are situations that can greatly affect parents, in the case of mothers who put all the meaning of their lives in the care of their children, they have to face a major change, since the “Nest” was the reason why it no longer exists. As a caregiver, this is no longer necessary, resulting in a great sense of emptiness.
Finally, empty nest syndrome can be considered a social noise that defines the mood of some people, and these people are the basis of a society like ours, firmly family-based.
In the end, what is a family-based society, but its constant creation and evolution?One day, a son left the house to form his own family nucleus, that is, two families have changed their structure, one new and one in the process of transformation. A natural and perfectly social fact.
However, a situation that seems normal at first glance can lead to pain, frustration, and loneliness, a noise that hurts some family members, whose mood decays alarmingly.
If a child leaves home and we feel that he carries with him the colors of our own life and the desire to enjoy it, perhaps the feeling of?Empty nest? It invades us, or even takes care of us:
It’s obvious that a son’s departure has hindered his mood. Now you have the challenge of reconstructing the sense in which you will live. You’ve lived in the service of your children for years. You’ve spent a lot of time in your life, development and training, and now it’s time to invest in yourself.
It’s important that children’s exit becomes an opportunity and, at least in part, looks this way, so you have more time for yourself and don’t know what to invest in, but figuring it out might be a fascinating task in itself. A good option is to develop new behaviors and skills, as well as enrich a social circle eroded by dedication to other priorities.
In principle, according to psychologist Sara Montejano, these new behaviors and abilities will aim to overcome empty nest syndrome, so what we mean by that is that it is recommended to develop skills to reduce the noise from which negative emotions arise.
“Listening is the best remedy against loneliness. -Anonymous-
Parents who have maintained a relationship will also face the challenge of re-evaluating their marriage and facing the new situation together, for this it is very important the communication, the expression of emotions and, if we were talking about a new individual management of time before, in this case we also talk about a new shared management of time.
Right now, resusing old hobbies, discovering new activities, finding friends to talk to are activities that can function as a good mattress while looking for new activities that motivate us, on the other hand, no matter if you put that noise into words, there is nothing wrong with admitting that we are suffering, as long as we do not bear the burden of this suffering on our own children. We must remember that we are ultimately responsible for our own emotions.