There is no perfect life. Life rarely gives us a complete sense of satisfaction. At least in the sense of “complete” what do we usually think?In a very artificial world full of false needs like ours, the feeling that we are people who lack one piece or more. You can blind the ability to see the parts we already have. It is as if this little piece that fills the void we feel is the last and essential secret of our happiness.
“If I worked with what I love, I’d be happier. If I had a stable relationship and could start a family, would I finally be happy?
- These thoughts that we have all had are once a persistent obstacle to our well-being.
- Most are the product of our culture and education: they have taught us that the more we have.
- The happier we will be.
We live with the pressure and demand to have to know everything and be a part of everything, and this way of seeing life, of course, fills us with anxiety, frustration and sadness.
When we reach one of our goals (especially if they are material), we will soon try to reach the next goal, then the next one, and so on, until we become exhausted.
Having desires and goals in life is legitimate and healthy, what would life mean if we didn’t have goals and dreams?But it’s different to think that we need everything we want, making a good distinction is the secret so as not to let ourselves be overwhelmed by defeat. of not getting what we had planned.
This can be confirmed by all the people who have fulfilled all their dreams and who still do not feel complete, thousands of people around the world seem to have an enviable life, if we focus on them, we can feel jealous and think that they have found a way to be happy and calm, but that’s a lie.
If these people are happy it’s not because of all they have or achieved, but because they know how to look at life in a special way.
It is very difficult for the human being to find calm with what he already has, does the human being always feel that he can do something else, that it can be better, or that he can get a greater amount of everything, is empty, incomplete imperfect, immature?
Through extraordinary efforts, we end up reaping all the achievements, all the goods and everything that will make our lives happy and we are exhausted and with a suffering body. Once we have achieved everything we want, happiness is not enough and we continue to want more.
If I managed to graduate, now I have to do a PhD and then have a stable relationship, can I learn languages, travel, have children? And in the worst case, for whatever reason, if you don’t achieve these goals, you will be a failed person.
This thought is the seed that engenders failure in our lives. Since perfection is nothing more than an unreal concept and that is what we intend to achieve, which is completely impossible, we will always feel miserable.
First, we must learn that nothing outside has enough power to make our emotional state one or the other. No one is happier than before they have more things, at least in the long run.
When children discover the toys brought by Santa, they seem happier, but this happiness lasts only a few days, after this momentary pleasure, the children want to change toys and put aside what they just won.
The same goes for adults. Things eventually lose value over time, and what we get in the future will also lose value. The human being eventually adapts and adaptation makes everything normal.
Why was Michael Jackson, with a mansion that was, after all, an amusement park, more miserable than Pepe Mujica, who lives on a farm?
And the second thing to keep in mind is that true happiness, well-being or whatever we want to call is within us and consists of a way of seeing life, in which we appreciate and love what we have now, without needing anything else. Is it the psychologist Rafael Santandreu who calls him?: The ability to realize that what we have is enough and that we don’t really need anything else.
Finally, a good exercise is to consciously give up almost everything and want to live without it. I can try to fulfill my wishes, but agreeing never to reach them and that it has no effect on my personal well-being.
Accepting life as it happens is one of the most important secrets to feeling free.
You may even think it’s conformism, but it’s not, what we’re proposing is that you have desires, motivations and goals, let it try to achieve them, but always with the overwhelming and real idea that none of this will make you happier, and that if you happen to not achieve the defined goal, you didn’t need it.