The art of loving well does not seek to please the ego. It’s a psychic tendon that gives us encouragement, support and respect. Wise love is not blind, because the two people look at each other maturely and consciously, wanting the other to “fly high”, without losing their wings and without damaging their self-esteem.
It is said that love is an art, that hides mysteries and has many faces, where we find the erotic, the divine and the profane, we could certainly get carried away by all the cultural heritage that surrounds us, which often gives us an unrealistic character. image on the subject, because love is not an art based on contemplation, but on the creation, effort and commitment of the brave.
“Loving oneself is essential to loving others. “-Eckhart Tholle-
Let poets, film and literature build their own image of love, because in this vast ocean no one is a captain, on this inhospit emotional continent we are mere explorers, for example, we know that love sometimes hurts, and although pain must be forbidden, we experience it at some point.
We do not always find happiness in love, and in this way we end up losing our dignity and even allowing our self-esteem to wear out like an old mantle, faded and fragile by use or abuse. It is necessary to focus on love through a wiser, healthier and healthier perspective.
Here are some suggestions
Some people have the need and desire to eat apples, they plant a tree and soon reap its fruits, the pleasure is infinite and for several weeks they appreciate the taste of this fruit, for a while they still feel the pleasure of eating without working However, when the new season arrives, the magnificent apple tree does not flower or bear fruit; began to wither.
The same thing happens in affective relationships: insatiable researchers find and appreciate love. However, they forget to nurture the roots of this unique but delicate bond, they are people who weaken the self-esteem of the other, they are disloyal and do not value commitment, they are emotional lazy who seek relationships with an expiration date.
On the other hand, there are people hungry for love who only seek the other to fill the void of their loneliness. They understand love as synonymous with comfort. For the most part, they look for seamstresses/those who can sew their broken hearts with the thread of love. This is not the most correct; because the art of loving well is not done by mercilessly destroying the self-esteem of the beloved.
As Erich Fromm said, if love were just a feeling or an emotion, the promise of love forever would be meaningless, for feelings come and go. Love is first and foremos s. an act of dignity with our partner and with ourselves.
Can’t we focus on love, like research? To calm needs, fears and loneliness, it must be seen as an encounter. After this premeditated realization comes commitment, courage and a real promise.
We have often said that a happy, mature and conscientious couple is one who can ‘be one, be two at the same time’, is definitely an ideal that we all want to achieve, but how can we do that?In love there is no magic formula, but there is good advice that can help us all: before we are two people united by the same project, we must be ourselves inside.
We must love each other without fear or commitment, appreciate our individuality, but never fall into the depths of the ego, only in this way can we protect our self-esteem and, in turn, increase the self-esteem of our loved one.
Here are some thoughts on some basic strategies that will help us achieve this goal.
“The encounter between two people is like contact between two chemists: if there is a reaction, they will both transform. “- Carl Gustav Jung-
A healthy love always starts at home. Imagine for a moment how difficult it must be to love someone who hates himself, imagine also what it’s like to live with someone who just wants to please you 24 hours a day: a person who, when you need to breathe, offers you air, who, when you get hurt, wants to bleed for you.
It is not necessary to lose individuality so that love may be born and strengthened every day; you don’t have to give up yourself to honor your partner. To love is to reaffirm the commitment to the other, to allow yourself to be a separate person and a partner in the same project.