King Solomon’s paradox defines a behavior that many of us can relate to, this happens when someone is particularly good at giving advice, we have great willingness, ingenuity, and empathy to communicate with others, and we always find the right words, yet this same skill is useless to us.
In other words, this idea perfectly defines the classic saying: “Do as I say, but don’t do what I do. “Let’s face it: it’s always easier to respond and act from the point of view of others than to take responsibility for ours. It is more peaceful and even interesting to reflect on the world of others than to take responsibility for one’s own actions.
- If this is our biggest problem.
- If we have been the best friend of others and the worst enemy of ourselves for years.
- It is worth knowing that there is solution.
- There is an interesting strategy to overcome this curious (but common) paradox.
When we pronounce the name of King Solomon, it is common to think of this classic figure of great wisdom, the story tells that people have made long trips from remote cities just to ask for advice, he gave them great success, gaining fame and admiration. for his original and brilliant reasoning.
However, despite this distinction in advising others, he himself ended up being known for an un virtuous and even insufficient lifestyle. He made bad decisions, not once, but several times; He had an uncontrolled passion for money and women, and above all, he forgot to teach his only son, so his own kingdom ended in disaster. All this feeds King Solomon’s well-known paradox.
Many people are used to always being that friendly shoulder that everyone is addressing, whether it’s seeking support or getting advice, their suggestions or recommendations function as a kind of reasoning that facilitates the proactivity of others and helps to face the common challenges of life.
However, all the intellectual and logical brilliity they apply to others is absent in themselves. In addition, people who use King Solomon’s paradox make the most obvious mistakes, exhibiting the least adjusted behaviors. Why do I give valuable advice to others and not make good decisions?
We all feel affection for our friends, family and loved ones who always seek our advice, yet King Solomon’s paradox hides a cognitive bias: people reason better if certain things have nothing to do with them.
It’s easy to suggest to others like, “You have to dare, life is too short to get stuck in fear; In the end you miss the best opportunities, do you change the chip?”As an intern it is effective, bright and even inspiring. However, if we are at a crossroads, there is no need to say, “Come on, be brave and dare. “
The mind does not act as quickly and resolvely when adversity is nominal; when we navigate difficulties, thought sinks into the network of fears, the trap of insecurities and the labyrinth of defense mechanisms, so sometimes we need advice for ourselves. Lives.
We often need it. It would be very useful to have the wisdom of King Solomon for ourselves, to be our best counselors, skilled coaches of the inner self, gurus of good advice, of infallible decision-making. How do you do that?
Igor Grossman of the University of Michigan, a psychologist specializing in the study of wisdom and also in King Solomon’s paradox, notes that perhaps the last famous monarch of the United Kingdom would have done better if he had imagined himself traveling to seek the advice of another wise king. What does that mean?
This implies that one strategy to find solutions to our daily challenges is to imagine, for a moment, that our problem is not ours, but that of another person, thus we are once again applying psychological distance, that valuable and effective resource that amplifies ideas. , increases perspective and opens up new options.
Ask yourself also in the third person: Why do you feel this?What could you do to feel better? These phrases act as effective catalysts to seek solutions, to act, ultimately, as our best allies when necessary. Let’s put it into practice.