The principle of coherence says that people almost always strive to be consistent, one of our main needs is to ensure harmony between what we say and what we do, between what experience has taught us and what immediate moment requires, yet it is true. that we cannot always do, and this conflict creates a shame.
Carl Rogers, a celebrated humanist psychologist, was one of the first to delve into the principle of coherence, which in 1950 defined it as an alliance between experience and conscience.
- Basically.
- It would be the result of all the experiences we’ve had and all the learning we’ve had.
- Acting consistently with our own values.
- Feelings.
- And desires.
Rogers wanted to immerse himself in this concept for good reason. One thing many therapists see in their offices is inconsistency. In other words, the clear distance between what a person needs and what they do for themselves.
Many people seek help because they feel they have completely deviated from their ‘ideal self’. Their reality has lost meaning because they see a clear difference between what they want and what they do, and between what they feel and what they receive.
When we break the principle of coherence, we experience discomfort and suffering. Unfortunately, this is a common reality, but it is worth analyzing.
“Good life is a process, not a state, is this an address, not a destination?. – Carl Rogers-
Writer and psychologist Robert B. Cialdini of the University of Arizona has studied in depth the principle of coherence, one of his best-known books is undoubtedly Pre-persuasion: a revolutionary method of influencing and persuading. theory to offer readers a new and interesting approach.
The nuance introduced by Dr. Cialdini is this: sometimes, in our attempt to be consistent, we find ourselves in contradictory situations that become problematic, such as the fact that we define ourselves as environmentalists and people strongly committed to the care of the environment. and yet we continue to use polluting energy.
In fact, there are situations in which you are subjected to some kind of social sanction to defend certain things and not be entirely consistent with them, all of this becomes even more complicated when we want to inspire others, when our desire is to reach others. through our values and behaviors.
What can we do in these circumstances?
There are circumstances in which we cannot respect the principle of coherence 100%, we may not like discussions and differences and have to deal with them often, we can defend political ideas and have a partner who defends otherwise, it is possible to love children, but decide not to have them.
Despite these apparent inconsistencies, there are some facts to consider:
We are aware that sometimes our thoughts and behavior will not be aligned, this dissonance can sometimes occur without further consequences.
However, the most harmful effects occur when there is continuous dissonance. Carl Rogers links him to self-theory, one of his most important contributions.
In conclusion, if we want to ensure our psychological well-being, it is essential to respect our principle of coherence, doing so is an act of daily courage.
Healthy exercise in living and acting on our values at all times can sometimes be complicated, but this effort will make self-esteem always at its best.