With this story about the role that attachment plays in a marriage, we want to reflect on the mechanisms of this connection that cause us so much pain. It affects us deeply when we try to control and dominate the other, using love as an excuse.
What is the difference between love and attachment?How does attachment negatively affect our relationships?
- “When we’re connected to something or someone.
- There’s always fear.
- Afraid of losing what we have.
- Is there still that feeling of insecurity? -Jiddu Krishnamurti-.
The prince spent his days looking out the window waiting for something new to happen. There was only one servant who bought and kept the castle clean. “What boring life?” he sighed.
One April morning, a swallow landed in her window. “Oh, what a small and delicate creature, ” said the prince. The swallow presented him with a little melody and left. He was astonished: his singing seemed to be the most beautiful. in the world and its plumage the most original, a unique being!
The prince eagerly awaited his return. The long-awaited day arrived and the swallow again sang another song. He was very happy and just before the swallow flew again, he wondered: “Are you cold?
The third time the bird returned, the prince worried if he was hungry, in the following days he devoted himself to the construction of a house for the swallow, sent his servant to buy wood, nails and hunt insects. Awkward attempts, he demanded that the servant build the house. ” Damn bird, ” murmured the servant.
He put insects, water and silk fabrics inside the house to make a bed. When he saw her sitting on the windowsill, he approached the house and saw her drink water and enjoy the food he had prepared. “You love these insects, my Sweet Swallow?With a brief trill, the swallow seemed to agree and resumed its flight.
The swallow did not come back and the prince was filled with anguish. What if he never comes back, what if I find a better home?Perhaps other princes have built better houses and hunted insects. There was no such swallow in the world!
The prince went two days without sleep and thinking of something else, until he decided to build a closed door for the little house. When the swallow returned and came in to taste the food, the prince closed the door. You’ll never run out of water, food and you won’t be cold,” he says.
A little confused, the swallow got carried away, first for convenience, took advantage of the warmth of her new home and had the food at her fingertips, without having to sniff the plantations to get it.
The prince placed the cage on his bedside table to welcome him to the swallow every morning when he woke up. “You’re my swallow, do you sing a beautiful song for me?”said. ” This life is not so bad,” the swallow thought and sang wonderfully. But, over time, his music faded, until he shut up.
“Don’t you sing anymore?” asked the surprised prince. You made me very happy when you sang.
?« My singing was inspired by the flow of the river, in the sound of the wind in the trees, in the reflection of the moon on the rocks of the mountains. I was happy, but now in this cage, I can’t find any reason to sing.
“I do this because I love you, ” said the prince. It’s dangerous to walk alone, what if an accident occurs?What if I can’t find food, what if a hunter shoots you?
? ? That? What is a hunter? ? she questioned
?« I take care of you and protect you, here you are safe from all danger.
One day, the prince awoke discouraged. He went to caress the swallow and found her dead.
Very angry, she called her servant and dismissed him, since surely one of the insects she had hunted had killed her. The fact that he found the culprit did not console him; he felt even more alone and defenseless than before the appearance of the swallow. Until another swallow lands on your window and sings a song – the most beautiful song you have ever heard.
This story tells how attachment works in relationships and shows us how often our fears are imposed on the desires and rights of others, when we try to transform people, take them away from their essence and happiness, do everything for them, and, without realizing it, hurt people.
Faced with a situation of loneliness or emptiness, one can take responsibility and get out of this situation by himself, or hold the couple accountable and establish a relationship of dependence.
Attachment can confuse us and exaggerate the qualities of our loved one; we come to believe that he is a unique and irreplaceable being. This increases our anxiety to imagine your possible loss. With the excuse of protection or well-being, one can deprive the other of their freedom.
It’s a story of attachment, but it’s also a love story. To love is to accept and respect each other’s way of being, to wish them happiness before thinking about our needs. Let him fly like swallows, if necessary, that and that makes you happy.