The real attraction goes beyond the physical and that interior so difficult to define, the real magic between two people is in the emotional reading of two hearts that collapse and harmonize, which are understood, is this attraction from which a person cannot free himself. even if he closes his eyes.
We all know how complex it is for science to isolate variables and establish correlations to better understand what we call love, affection, or attraction, however, the latest study published to date seems to have solved this problem: the key to attractiveness may be in mutual understanding between two people.
- “I just want someone who understands me.
- ” This is undoubtedly one of the most common phrases we say when we fail in a sentimental relationship.
- Far from asking for the impossible.
- Our request is as logical as it is true.
- For no love will be authentic if there is no sympathy based on the intuition of needs and correspondence of affections.
We invite you to think about it
Let’s remember for a moment an unforgettable film: “Better is impossible”. We are dealing with two completely different people, both in social status and in personal interests. Although there is an unexplained attraction between Melvin and Carol, Helen Hunt’s character is desperate for Jack Nicholson’s behavior and attitude.
She “wants a normal boyfriend, ” someone who understands her. Until at some point and in a boundary situation, he asks her to give her a reason not to leave at that time. It was then that Melvin Udall, the novelist with a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, sincerely revealed to him: “You make me a better person. “
Therein lies the real mystery. Beyond the physical and confusing interior that we sometimes keep, we all hide emotional needs that are suddenly identified, read and even resolved by the presence of a wonderful person disguised as a normal person.
The more we can connect with someone’s emotional world to decipher their feelings, the greater the attraction, as concluded by a group of researchers from the University of Lonbeck, Germany, whose study was published this year in the journal PNAS.
The most intense attraction is one in which we can finally understand the intentions and emotions of the other person, one in which we also strengthen our personal growth and self-esteem as root of the tree that can find a corner under the ground full of water and nutrients, where it can grow with strength and beauty.
Finding someone to understand and understanding is not easy, we know that, but when it does, our brain gets excited, explains the neuroscientist and director of this study, Silke Anders:
All of this seems to help us a little more understand why sometimes it doesn’t work when we start a relationship with someone who appeals to us physically and with whom we have an affinity.
People need a more intimate harmony, in which our neural vocabulary speaks the same language. In which needs are decoded by a wise, intuitive and above all courageous emotional reading; able to give you the most accurate answer at any time, not the one you’re interested in.
We need to become better people, not misunderstood characters under our solitary armor.