As much as two people love each other and have a relationship that we can define as harmonious, sooner or later they will have to face conflict, it is inevitable and also healthy. Relationship conflict is an opportunity for analysis and decision-making.
There are also those who range from contradiction to contradiction, from one fight to another, and yet they feel that there is enough love for the relationship not to end.
- Maybe it’s just because they still don’t know how to deal with a conflict and that’s why they can’t solve their problems.
There are some basic guidelines to keep in mind when trying to resolve relationship conflicts. These are guidelines that also come with common sense.
However, while they seem logical, we generally ignore these patterns, resulting in conflicts that are not resolved or result in an agreement that does not satisfy the parties. Let’s see what those guidelines are.
“There is no love in peace. Is it always accompanied by agony, ecstasy, intense joys and deep pain? . – Paulo Coelho-
Anger, accompanied by impulsivity, is one of the factors that deteriorates any relationship the most. We’re overflowing simply because we’re used to it.
However, we can also get used to being quiet and silent as this wave of rage passes that brings so many negative consequences.
We’re less sure than we thought. Therefore, doubt, understood as caution, should be raised more frequently by those who agree.
Let the other person set out their reasons, intentions, and actions. Open your mind to understand other points of view. Understanding is a very high-yielding investment.
One way to deal with a relationship conflict is to focus on how you feel more than you think. Exposing one’s feelings sincerely is liberating for you and rewarding to others.
Expressions that come from the heart promote understanding and eventually strengthen the bond between two people.
Screams and ill-treatment fuel conflict and undermine dignity; although in the heat of the moment it can be ignored, it is a maxim that finally prevails.
Screaming and abandoning sensitivity allows the other to do the same, which eventually only encourages distance and resentment.
We tend to seek the answer to our actions in the actions of others. “You took me seriously, we say, as if others were controlling our behavior as they wish.
The most mature thing is to always start any analysis of the situation determining the responsibility of someone in what happened. Trying to blame the other doesn’t resolve the conflict in the relationship.
Victimization never helps, let alone resolve a conflict in the relationship. When one person puts himself in the victim position and obviously puts the other in the executioner position, he distorts his true responsibility.
As a general rule, one becomes infantilized while the other acquires imaginary powers, which will only cause confusion.
In silence, we can work on our internal dialogue, those messages to which we dedicate ourselves and, moreover, in conversation, it is the courteous prelude to the exchange of words.
Interrupting is something that creates additional tension, because it irritates and suppresses our desire to impose ourselves, it is a good idea to limit the time and respect for interventions.
It is much easier to deal with conflict in the relationship when there is a constructive attitude towards it. This leads you to offer a discussion in order to seek solutions and solutions, rather than to aggravate discomfort.
If the focus is on how to resolve the issue, the solution to the conflict is closer.
If one or both members of the couple are used to making lists of unpaid bills, these bills are unlikely to be paid, especially since they tend to be charged, which places the collected in a situation of power, weakness of the other. , or as a defense, so as not to assume responsibility.
This breaks the balance so necessary to resolve the conflict
Threats of neglect or harm are a form of psychological violence. At any time, they may feel like they are working; however, they will never be the solution to a conflict.
With them, one wins and the other loses, there are winners and losers, which is perhaps the worst result of any negotiation.
It’s also not good to hold a grudge. In relationships, we must all forgive and be forgiven at some point. We’ve all made mistakes and deserve an opportunity to repair the damage and apologize.
Finally, we emphasize that will, willingness and attitude are the most important ingredients to resolve the conflict.
So it’s simply about cultivating our emotional education to give smarter answers to problems that are never missing and that challenge two people who love each other.