Being a fragile person involves having a particular sensibility that the person protects through a harness, adding layers to every disappointment and feeling of frustration, even the most sensitive person can be cold when he feels threatened by a situation he does not want to go through.
There are difficult situations to face, assume and overcome for all, such as abandonment, rejection, contempt, guilt, etc. In situations where we feel especially vulnerable, we retire to protect ourselves, it is essential to preserve their integrity.
- The personality and temperament of each person influence their behavior in the face of such situations that can cause great emotional pain.
- So there are those who are exposed to painful situations without protecting themselves.
- With a certain tendency to masochism.
- Until they are extremely bruised and wounded.
Other types of people, on the other hand, remain cautious: when they anticipate a situation similar to that of a previous experience, they are able to erect barriers and become impenetrable, indifferent to any emotion or feeling.
Sure, your armor protects you from the person who wants to destroy you, but if you don’t let go, it will also isolate you from the only person who can love you.
-Richard Bach-
The two types of people described above are at opposite poles, although they depend on their own weakness.
Frailty is commonly associated and confused with weakness: being fragile indicates the intensity of one’s emotions, the sensitivity to feel one’s own feelings, and the difficulty of showing what it really is out of fear of being hurt.
Being fragile, I can be strong in the face of circumstances, go ahead and overcome my fears, however, I do not allow myself to be sensitive, even if I suffer internally, feel bad and feel lonely, I want to look strong dressing in my armor, making me believe that nothing affects me, when in reality it affects me so much that I feel that I can not bear it anymore.
We are able to show our strength when we continue to trust despite betrayals, when we move forward despite our fears and sorrows, when we show our vulnerability and sensitivity to those who deserve it.
When we suppress emotions, when we build walls first and foremosts of everything we feel, people can only see us superficially, and we even treat others in the same way, thus having superfluous relationships without real commitment.
Can we really get to know each other like this?Adding layers to our armor has these consequences: we move away from who we are, we live in fear, to keep us locked in pain.
If I want to know myself, my whole being, everything I am and not just one or two layers, then it is obvious that I should not condemn, I must be open to every thought, to every feeling, to all moods, all inhibitions. ?
-Krishnamurti-
When one is particularly sensitive, one develops the ability to avoid being in oneself, confronts the world by developing different profiles, which are different according to our personality: the shy and ashamed, retracted, excluded, complacent, generous, those that are always available, etc.
In one way or another, they are all our masks with which we protect ourselves, adopting a predefined role, and thus avoid, as far as possible, talking about ourselves and getting into who we really are.
I’m sure I’ll feel the betrayal again, they’ll hurt me again and the scars of my wounds will reopen, it’s something I can’t help, because it’s part of life itself, of my trajectory, if I really want to live it, meet and connect with others, I’m going to have to expose myself to anything that might happen, even if I feel fragile.
My insensitivity, my coldness, my armor, the armor and the walls I build are not the solution, hiding from mixing with others is my own mistake, the role I play to feel safe Everything is a lie, a deception that prevents me from recognizing myself.
We anesthetized our sensitivity by preventing him from expressing himself, because when in the past we felt that we had found the person with whom to share it, they betrayed us, we must gradually accept ourselves, rebuilding an even more real love.
This process is more vulnerable because we are rebuilding our identity by taking a step forward, learning to explore and recognize the sensitivity we hide with padlocks. At the same time as we are more exposed, there is a greater likelihood of being injured, as these changes involve a transformation in the relationship with another person and in the established roles.
The disappointments we experience, both from ourselves and from others, help us see more clearly what kind of people we want to be with. We select through deeper questions like values, honesty, and authenticity.
After all, this whole trajectory has its lessons learned with every step we take, allowing our emotions to manifest, however painful, we facilitate the encounter with ourselves and the deep connection with the rest of the world.