Coincidentally, in a forum in which I participated, a debate was held on self-help books, I was quite surprised to read some of the participants’ comments, then I share my findings.
Throughout my life as a psychologist, which began many years ago, I have read hundreds of books. Initially they were professional texts for professionals; in fact, some were quite dense and incomprehensible. It was after more than a decade that self-help books began to emerge, making it accessible to all the experiences of professionals. A psychologist was no longer needed to solve the problems.
- I’ve read several of these books.
- Some great.
- Some right and some terrible.
- The debate I referred to made me think about what “self-help” really is.
- My point of view includes two factors:.
1- All the books we read can help us in some way, make us understand situations, attitudes, challenges, relationships and fears, you end up identifying with characters, situations, learning new ways to see the world and yourself. learn geography, geopolitics, history, quantum physics or any other topic that interests us.
2- There is only one effective help: ours. We can consult the best specialist in the world, but if we do not make the decision to face and resolve the situation, both emotionally and materially, the result will be a failure.
We are the architects of our destiny. It is our perception (ours and not that of the other) that creates our reality and determines our choices at any time in life An example is: imagine going to the cinema with a hundred more people and, in the end, everyone has to answer a question. movie quiz How many versions of the movie will appear?Well, no less than a hundred versions, since our brain associates everything we see in the film with our experiences, which are stored in our memory.
Our mind is associative and links information to chance, following a logic that is the only one to understand, attributes meanings and symbols based on facts that touched us at some point, shocked us, terrorized, fell in love and intertwined in such a way that, to stop working automatically, a work of voluntary deactivation must be carried out.
When it comes to a book, the mind does the same. All information in the book is associated with our references and experiences. So if a person thinks a self-help book is a trash can, even if they find information that can really help them, it probably won’t have any effect.
For those who believe that this information can be useful (even if it is poor), there will always be good results, they will be able to take advantage of it: the teachings will draw your attention and realize that it has to change the way they see the world, do the proposed exercises and change their lives in some way.
Another important point for the success of self-help books is the key to any learning: practicing, practicing what you learned, being persistent, repeating learned exercises, incorporating these new behaviors into your life, these behaviors can be external, such as getting up an hour early to do an extra activity, or internal, such as repeating a phrase that can change the intensity of stress or fear.
There are often books, workshops and courses that are forgotten because we do not put into practice what we have learned, it is not your fault but the student, who has not been able to take advantage of experience and learning.
I remember a very important book from my childhood, Nils Holgersson’s wonderful journey through Sweden, by Selma Lagerlof, was not a self-help book, but he helped me a lot, he told me many adventures, there was always a solution. to problems and behaviors had consequences, the best thing is that it has shown that what brings happiness is to be in harmony with oneself and with all living beings, I was about ten years old and taught me to cultivate these attitudes, which were the same as I saw in my mother, always willing to help others, that helped me decide that I did not want to be a doctor or teacher , but psychologist.
Of course, I have had many other experiences, but I have read and reread this book several times; played a very important role in my life.
A few years later, Miguel Delibes influenced me to write my first stories. Grandpa? it was my first story.
Many other literary works were important for a better understanding of life and the world. The valuable knowledge of the books, their authors, psychologists and psychotherapists who, together with my teachers and advisors, have made me what I am in this extraordinary field of the psyche. and human emotions.
And yes, self-help books have also helped me better understand my patients, learn from them, challenge myself, and succeed in applied treatments.
In fact, it depends. Depends on your attitude. Reading and understanding content, implementing suggestions, and understanding how much you identify with proposed issues and solutions are very important steps. Find out if this is the right time for changes in your life or if you prefer. to endure difficulties or fear of change. It’s your choice.
The success of a self-help book depends on how people react and respond to its content. Even in a self-help book considered bad, a person may find the missing key to solving their problems.
So yes, I think these books can help those who want to be helped.