The important thing is to have someone when everything collapses. One last arm, one last hand, the last fingers, one last skin when all the weight makes the vertebrae of our back tremble, at those times when we would be ready to reach an agreement with the devil for misery, because deep down we are thinking that if there is something like misery, it is us.
Simple mortals, deadliest than ever. He’s not someone who brings us back to the surface, but simply to support our fall. Let him come one afternoon with a little time and say, I’m all yours, I’m all yours. You have my five senses. The touch to kiss you, the ears to listen to you, the teeth to bite you, the soul to caress you, the despair to turn you around, as if it were a sock of colorful drawings for life.
- There are three types of loneliness for those who do not seek it.
- The first one has already felt it.
- This is what happens when we are surrounded by many people and feel that we have no connection with anyone.
- Or are disconnected from the air that damages our hair or the sun that enters our bodies.
- A gesture as hidden as it is unconscious.
- Guard.
This type of loneliness occurs when many disappear and there are only important people left, when the party ends and it is time to pack, stack the glasses, store the last remains of food and bottles whose air has already begun to oxidize the taste, when the music stops and you realize how much you missed the absence of insignificant vibrations.
There is a second kind of loneliness felt by those who go first or last, who work on a project that has a long history and a confusing horizon, only sometimes clarified by faith, this loneliness makes us great, strong and tests our limits. It’s about doing something that we won’t know very well how we were able to do it, a mystery that is part of vital, often disconcerting idiosyncrasies.
This loneliness completes the sticker album of our self-esteem. These walks are the ones that we will be the last testimonies and that constitute the invisible roots for others that anchor us to life, sometimes we say some, but the feeling is so special that you can not help feeling that no one can. understand it, simply because they haven’t lived, they’ve never been there.
The last kind of loneliness is the worst, look and look around and don’t see anyone, it’s feeling that when people go down the stairs they’re going to disappear until there’s no one and it sounds like a lie, but you keep coming down.
You’d like to think it’s a diving challenge, make sure you get back on the surface like when you were young and the pleasure was to lift it without breathing. Wait, don’t breathe, but now it’s not just the lungs that are burning?and then you wonder if you really want to surface. It’s different to know that it’s possible to feel like you won’t miss anyone.
There’s nothing more fun. You can open your eyes, but there’s no light, just shadows, smaller and smaller than the ones above, you feel like you’re getting further and further away and screaming in transformed language that’s getting different from yours. If it was hard to understand yourself when you were around, now this exercise is part of the impossible. An impossible as is possible in the present.
You close your fists and grab the water, as if escaping between your fingers could form a real rope. And sometimes someone stops you, surprises you and you find your faith. You feel dizzy about losing, having overestimated your distance, but be careful because few sensations comfort you more than knowing that you are very important to someone. Enough to change the script.
Other times, no one does.