Who never wanted to feel like a princess?Who never wanted prince charming who never seems to show up?These are situations associated with hyper-romanticism.
Human beings have a double-edged sword that is fantastic, thanks to fantasy we were able to make discoveries, create wonderful stories, songs, etc.
- However.
- We often fall into the mistake of believing in certain imaginary ideas and taking them for granted as if they were real.
- When they never were and never will be.
Fantasy is great for fairy tales, but obviously real life is far from like a story and we don’t even need it.
Today we have a problem with the theme of love and hyper-romanticism, we believe that finding love is one of the most important goals of our lives because without that love we can never be happy people.
We associate happiness with romantic love, with “true” love, with “without you I am nothing”.
Society and culture tell us that without our orange half we will be incomplete, sad beings condemned to misfortune and loneliness, and the problem is that we believe in these ideas and that is why we suffer so much for love.
Our fear of being alone is so intense, not to have at our side someone who loves us unconditionally, just as we love him, that we fall into certain irrational behaviors that are harmful to us and also to our partner.
In the name of love, we can abandon ourselves, not respect each other, do things that will attack our dignity and lose our individual freedom, our tastes, our dreams.
If we try to remember certain films or books, we will realize how lovers were even able to sacrifice their own lives for love, as if it were the only source of existing gratification that we cannot not have.
From an early date, we have seen how the princesses eagerly awaited the arrival of a Blue Prince to save them from an extremely sad life.
If this prince had never arrived, they could never enjoy life under any circumstances, which gave us the damaging idea of addiction to the couple, very characteristic of hyper-romanticism.
In the songs we have other very clear examples. Almost every song is about romantic love and they say something like “Give me back my life. “without you I die, “If you leave, I’ll be out of air, etc.
I don’t deny that these are wonderful songs that we can enjoy, but I emphasize that fantasy has to have a limit.
“I love you because I want to love you, for I have chosen you and I love to be by your side; not because you’re essential to my happiness. I don’t need you, do I prefer you?” – Walter laughs
We are neither princes nor princesses and we are not in any fairy tale, this is real life and if we want to be happy, we have to accept it.
Love is nothing more than a set of chemical reactions that one day, whether we like it or not, ceases to happen, and it is neither good nor bad, it is normal.
Feelings do not last forever, they are not eternal as the songs say, the figure of love formed forever by the beliefs of hyper-romanticism, unbreakable and perfect, does not exist, and if we are obsessed with the idea of living a story, we will suffer a lot the day something bad happens in our relationship.
Alongside these ideas, we have a good chance of falling into emotional dependence, irrational jealousy, depression the day we are abandoned.
Our mind tells us that we need someone to be happy, we don’t know how to separate desire from necessity, and that’s why a lot of bad things happen:
You have to be aware that no one needs anyone to be good, mature, long-lived and healthy couples do not tell each other that they will be together forever or that they will fail.
They like to be together, if they want, to love each other, but they don’t need each other. If things don’t go well tomorrow, life will offer you thousands of other opportunities.
This is true love and this is what we must say to ourselves
“I love you but I don’t need you. I want you to be free, because I like to be with you, because we feel good together, not because I need someone by my side, not because I’m afraid of loneliness, not because you complete me, because I’m already a complete being with my flaws and virtues, no matter if you’re present or absent, I just love you.
I love him, but I’m the most important person to me. I’ll give you a lot of things, but I won’t get lost in this process. If we are happy to walk side by side, support ourselves and help each other, then much better, otherwise there is no problem either.
I want to kiss you every time we wake up and when we go to bed, I want to hug you intensely, I want to build a future with you, I want to hear one, do I love you?From your lips, I want to live together and enjoy life with you.
I want to, I just want to, but I don’t have to.