Anger is the extreme misfit of boredom and irritation. These are considered healthy, basic and universal emotions, that is, they help us solve the problems that we all encounter and feel at some point in our lives.
The function of irritation is to protect ourselves from what can hurt us, so we could say that we should be irritated when the situation requires it, set limits according to the world and others, and express our expectations and needs.
- Anger is no longer functional.
- It no longer helps us.
- It simply dulls our actions to achieve our goals.
- And also makes us feel very bad emotionally.
- Not to mention the nocivity of our social relationships in general.
- The thing is.
- Why miedo.
- De pain.
- For fear of suffering.
- We cling until the emotion says?and it must be expressed.
As if we were a pressure cooker, we were full of unreported problems and pointless demands, so we found ourselves angry, which makes us look like hostile and aggressive people.
Others stop taking us seriously or loving us and end up getting tired of us, so the aggressive way we use to express our pain makes us lose our minds that might even be on our side at first.
The angry person, though he seems harsh, enlightened and someone who inspires respect wherever he goes, is basically a being scared to death, needs to use this way of expressing himself, this anger, to defend himself. Do you feel angry about intending to defend yourself?Of course, something that can harm or make them suffer. They are very afraid to fall into suffering and use this strategy of anger to get rid of it.
The question immediately arises: why will these people suffer or feel pain?The answer is clear: not seeing their expectations, needs or demands met scares them a lot, because it means that the world, life or others won’t always do things like them. Like.
The angry person interprets that he is in danger because he has not met these requirements, that alleged danger is scary and this fear sends a signal to the body to create the combat response involving his defense. Will the angry person implement a strategy that he believes can save her: screaming, intimidating, breaking things, exaggerating, insulting?
Perhaps with this behavior you think things are going to change, but in the end it is not so and the person ends up finding more problems: fights with family or friends, stomach aches, taking medication to escape problems, etc. ?
To begin with, we must know that the goal is not to eliminate the healthy emotion of anger, but the anger that makes us stumble, to be angry is beneficial and allows us to have healthier social relationships as well as a great emotional release for ourselves. .
The first step in eliminating anger is, as with all emotions, accepting it and wanting to feel it, for this we can retreat to a quiet room, close our eyes and let it enter our body, create a space for it, give it a name, a shape and a color so that we can feel it and observe it. .
Once you’ve accepted your emotion and its intensity has diminished, you can start questioning your demands in relation to the world and others. For this one can ask one a few questions: “What do I say to feel this anger?Can people act as they please or should they succumb to my desires?
You can ask yourself these questions until you meet your absolutist requirements and decide that you have to change them for wishes and preferences, accepting that even if you want something to happen, it may not really happen.
Last but not least, you must discover this fear that is deep within you and see what need you have that has not yet been discovered, it can be something that comes from your childhood, such as a need for love, security or more. need, related to love, family or work.
Once you’ve identified it, write it down, delete it, become aware of it and, as you did with the requests, question it and realize that you no longer need everything you think you need, if this need you have is not satisfied, nothing terrible will happen as you might think, because it is unrealistic.