The idea that there are toxic people? In fact, the adjective ‘toxic’ now applies very easily to anyone who has relationship difficulties, in one way or another it has been used to exacerbate intolerance, so it’s time to clarify that there are actually no toxic people, but toxic behaviors.
No human being can be reduced to a classification as general as “good”. or bad ?. Nor, of course, to a qualifier as negative as “toxic”. People, like life, are variable. There are times when incorrect or destructive behavior occurs. You can even stay with them for a long time, but that doesn’t mean they’re poisonous on their own. No one is toxic and you can’t use that word to classify someone’s gasoline.
“Don’t attach yourself to those who are not satisfied with their successes” – Bernardo Stamateas-
Anyone can behave toxicly, but that doesn’t indicate that it manifests throughout life, behavior can be reoriented and transformed constructively, in any case, is it?Plague, an escape, but an indication that the person is in trouble and therefore unaware of the damage it causes to others and to himself.
Toxic behaviors mask insecurity and low self-esteem, while possessing narcissistic characteristics that compensate for a lack of self-esteem, and are often accompanied by misconceptions that falsely confirm this way of doing things.
Thus, the main characteristics of toxic behaviors are
Toxic behaviors cannot be considered as general, applicable to anyone with one or more of the characteristics presented, there are always degrees, levels and contexts, it is a fact that, in some cases, toxic behaviors are deeply rooted in these conditions There is no choice but to distance the other, but that does not mean that the other should be excluded , it is important to make him understand that the cause of distance is his destructive behavior.
We are constantly exposed to contradictions in our relationships with others, it is a fact that a balance can be achieved, but it does not occur naturally, in general it is only achieved after a good number of ups and downs, each one leads to an empty relationship, fractures and inconsistencies. It is not wise to avoid all this, but to manage and balance.
Dialogue will always be the preferred way to build meeting points, when a person has no toxic behaviors, has the ability to help those who have them see them, it also manages to put limits on attempts at control and invasive behavior. allows, promotes, tolerates or silences, means that it is also in the same logic, that is, in destructive logic.
The best way to help someone who is toxic is not to allow it, each link has a playing field, partly explicit and partly implicit, no one should be allowed to tolerate manipulation, contempt and any other behavior that degrades or exploits the other. we have to eradicate it’s toxic behavior, not the people who manifest it.