There are people who can judge others by the speed of sound, without mercy or anesthesia. They are guided by a blind gaze and an empty heart, with no air of empathy. Worse, their minds are sown by the self-centeredness that so many sequels leave in our nearest environments.
The art of educating us from mistakes, trends or misinterpretations is a very complicated mechanism to apply, this is because, first of all, we must break, in fact, the barrier of the aforementioned self. . Such a thing involves restructuring the foundations of our own identity. How can I admit that I was wrong to judge this person if I had learned to distrust what I don’t know?
“We judge based on what we see and see what we want, so we end up judging what we want or want. -Lao-Tzu-
We live in a society where value judgments prevail, something we all know, sometimes no matter how hard you try to prove something, because there will always be someone who will willingly put a pin on you to place you in the middle of this world of complex flora and fauna , but it does not matter that this reality is as chaotic as a jungle, it does not matter how many times we are judged or labeled a lie.
It’s just words, empty gestures, ambient noise, because in the face of a complex world all that matters is authenticity, and that’s all we have to preserve every day and every moment.
We all do that. All of us, in our day-to-day lives and in our relationships, use value judgments, but far from seeing this psychological resource as a negative thing, we must assume it as it is: a natural need to evaluate and control what we do not yet know.
We consider it a survival mechanism. However, the way we do it is directly driven by our personality, our own tendencies and our own flexibility of thought. According to a Harvard University survey, it takes just over two seconds for people to “evaluate a person. “In fact, we do this based on two very basic aspects:
Harvard psychologists synthesize these issues in two dimensions: intimacy and competence. If we are in a professional context, competition will certainly be a fundamental aspect. Can this person increase my productivity?Are you a respectful leader ?, are you creative and will motivate me?Will I be able to work as a team with her?
On the other hand, the dimension of closeness or trust is undoubtedly one of the most important aspects of our life, in fact, it is crucial for our own survival: trust is power, it creates bonds, it grows, that is why we judge by what we see and we feel about whether or not we can trust that person.
But is it clear that we are not always right?
If judging is part of our survival mechanism, it is necessary to know how to assume evil judgment to integrate learning, however, as we already know, this attitude is not very common, every categorization we issue comes from the depths of our being, our education, our values, our experiences and interpretations more or less correct.
Bad judgment requires humbly accepting error. Because wisdom comes precisely from those who are able to reconstruct patterns of thought to improve coexistence, above all it implies a change: if you are able to judge others, you must also know how to judge yourself.
We already know we’re making judgments almost instinctively. A first step to avoid falling into the rawest prejudices or stereotypes is to adopt a more thoughtful attitude. Before you draw a conclusion about something or someone, you should apply the following:
Last but not least, try to feel good about yourself, because whoever is in harmony, satisfied with what he is and what he has, does not judge; who fills their gaps with the certainty of good self-esteem sees no flaws where they do not exist. He’s not looking for victims to project their needs.