Happiness is not only in the altruistic act of giving everything for nothing, receiving is also a right and, more importantly, it is also a necessity that gives value and builds the fundamental pillars of reciprocity.
Mahatma Gandhi once said that “the best way to find yourself is to get lost in the service of others. “It is a noble and humanistic approach, no doubt, but there is no need to confuse these currents with the personal or emotional plan. relationships, where?
- Giving a lot and receiving little also tires.
- And although the gift of knowing how to give in return for nothing is beautiful.
- You also have to receive it without having to ask.
Adam Grant, psychologist and author of the book “Give and Receive,” points out that we are all somewhere in this line that goes from which he is accustomed to giving, to what he simply hopes to receive. the center, from which to provide a happiness capable of giving and receiving, something that unfortunately is not always observed, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
We don’t want gifts, we prefer details, we don’t want our favors back, nor do we dedicate posters for every effort made, for every dedicated moment or for every dream presented to serve and make those we love happy.
What our hearts want to receive is respect, recognition and reciprocity, none of this is touched with our hands. However, it has the subtle virtue of caressing our souls to make us feel loved, so many times, when you have none of this, you are empty and almost helpless.
The problem in most romantic relationships is precisely this dissonance: giving everything for very little. Henry Miller, known for his vital and sensual works, commented in one of his books that what are you for?Asymmetric? To succeed, it took two patients: one addicted to receiving and the other whose addiction was giving. Only then would there be harmony. The rest of the relationship would inevitably be doomed to agonizing suffering.
Our relationships, whether loving, family or friendly, often present a kind of dynamic in which each of us is placed somewhere between those who give or those who usually receive, ideally we should all assume the role of ‘balancers’, where we try to build a respectful harmony between what we bring and what we get, always paying attention to the interaction itself.
Now let’s take a closer look at what kind of dynamics we tend to build, according to the theories of the psychologist and author of “Give and Receive?(Give and Receive).
It is clear that the world is sometimes a complex and even heterogeneous scenario, full of love and lag, yet there is nothing you can do to change that partner or family member who thinks life is like this: expect more than it is willing to offer.
To have healthier relationships we must be aware that finding those guilty of this discomfort will only bring more suffering, there are times when even if there is love, the relationship becomes unbearable, and that is because one of them does not like what he wants. waits or needs the other person. We mustn’t look for the culprits.
Just remember what each of us deserves, all I know is that it is vital to establish a just relationship with oneself, taking care of one’s self-esteem and remembering, above all, that loving is not a game where you win.
Love is authentic, love is the soul, it is an act where two sages offer thee spontaneously to build, to endow the same, is to desire the happiness of the beloved, without demanding in return our own happiness.