Most people have lived or will face the end of a relationship at least once in a lifetime. This situation, always difficult, seems more complicated for each other than for each other. When a person claims that someone has broken his heart, it is usually exactly how they feel, a paralyzing and painful pain. However, what really happened was that their expectations were not met.
You may make the mistake of thinking that this person had very strong and deep feelings for who your partner was, or you may think it’s a lack of emotional strength on their part, the reality is that the basis of your suffering is not excessive love or personal weakness, but expectations, simply.
- They never broke your heart.
- Literally speaking.
- It is obvious that this did not happen.
- Because physiologically it is impossible; figuratively speaking.
- That didn’t happen either; maybe at some point you felt like you had given your heart to someone and that person had destroyed you.
- However.
- In reality.
- Even if it’s hard to admit.
- It was you who caused this damage.
Love doesn’t destroy, even when it’s over. When you love someone in an authentic, pure and healthy way, suffering is different because it is free of addictions and you do not leave your happiness to the other; you don’t expect me to fill it up.
Of course, we all have expectations and, to some extent, they are necessary, we expect the respect, support and sincerity of our partners, however, mature love understands that each of us is responsible for our own well-being and responsibility. includes being able to distance ourselves from those who do not treat us properly, so as not to allow humiliation, betrayal or disappointment to be perpetuated in the context of the relationship.
Although people tend to blame the other for these situations, the one who gets hurt is the one who stays there, love only hurts the ego. It hurts to hold on and neglect self-love in the name of the couple’s love.
No one has a broken heart for loving too much, because the person who really knows how to love would never be so devastated by someone’s behavior or departure to be able to say something like that. She would understand and accept that each other’s actions were not under her power, only hers. As a result, he would protect his integrity and move away from this situation calmly. I’d feel pain, yes, but I wouldn’t have extreme suffering.
If you are part of the large group of people who at some point in their lives felt their hearts broken, do not feel guilty, you are not a weak person to have this feeling, nor weaker than others. The partner was not of spectacular value. He wasn’t much, and you weren’t small. Understand that those responsible for the anguish you may have felt were just your expectations.
When you’re in a romantic relationship, you start projecting a future with the other person, you make plans, you set goals and you set common goals, you hope and trust that the life plan you share will come true.
However, as we all know, life is changing and uncontrollable, and things don’t always go according to plan If, at this stage, you don’t have good psychological flexibility, proper coping skills and strong self-esteem, the impact can be impressive.
In general, people most likely to suffer in a complicated or pathological way after separation are people who are too rigid, who need certainty and control, and who are afraid of change.
It is positive to share dreams and projects with your partner, but you should not let your psychological and emotional stability depend on them, you must be prepared to face the changes without being affected, for this you need to work your consciousness, self-esteem and flexibility.
If you feel your heart break, examine the true source of that feeling and understand that it is in your power to begin to love in a healthier way. Start by loving yourself unconditionally. Changing can be intimidating, but remember that when nothing goes wrong, anything is possible.