Ending a relationship is always painful. Sometimes it affects us more, sometimes less; It all depends on several factors, including, of course, the length of the relationship, the quality of the relationship and the expectations we form around it; age, life history, emotional stability and context are additional elements that decisively influence how we assimilate this separation.
As you can see, many variables come into play, so the pain of separation is unique for each person and can not be compared with anyone else, to all this we can add that we tend to better manage a separation if we have any. training on how best to manage it. Therefore, it is good that you know some of the most common mistakes that are made during a separation, in which you can fall if you do not realize.
- Sometimes you feel so strong that you think you’re above the pain of separation.
- You may have a very developed self-esteem.
- So don’t admit the possibility that a separation will affect you.
- You may not shed a tear.
- But it’s not uncommon to start sleeping badly.
- Feel irritated.
- Or become intolerant and rigid with everything.
These are expressions of pain you don’t want to endure. There’s nothing strange or bad about grief. Admitting that loss saddens you doesn’t mean you’re any less precious or ridiculous. The more you postpone your pain, the more your emotions will be affected.
Almost supernatural qualities are often attributed to the deceased couple, especially if it was that person who ended the relationship, for many a kind of selective amnesia works: they forget the faults and bad times and begin an unlimited process of idealization. There’s no one in the world like your ex. Unfortunately, this is common in many cases.
Therefore, you must make an effort to see the situation objectively. Separations do not happen by magic; are the result of very specific factors even if, at first, you can’t clarify them. Also, layoffs are always their responsibility, so instead of fueling romance, it’s time to keep your head cool and admit that your main task is to move on.
The person will fail, which is quite normal. You probably spent a lot of time together and had a world of shared complicity, it’s not easy for you, overnight, to get used to this absence without being fed up with the country.
However, surprising this person is not necessarily a sign that you have to go back to them, you have to give from time to time. There is nothing that time does not cure; sometimes it’s enough to let the days go by naturally and tolerate the frustration of the moment. Gradually, you will stop feeling the emptiness left by this person.
Image courtesy of Luis Sarabia.